The Devil You Know

Chapter 47: Going Away

Ma had passed away last night. I don't have anything left here. I want to go back home but there wasn't anything left there either. I decided to call Naomi's house to tell Jade what happened. I knew she'd probably be there. I picked up the phone and dialed the number. "Hello?" I heard Naomi ask. I quickly hung up the phone. It hurt to hear her voice again. I couldn't handle it. I knew I was hurting her and Jade.

I was leaving for the army in a month now. That was my last resort. I wasn't gonna go back home and I wasn't going to stay here. I held the whiskey bottle in my hands and drank generously from it. My drinking problem was getting really bad now. Maybe the army would be good for me.

I missed my sister and I could honestly say I missed Brendan too. Even though he makes me so angry just to think about him, I still love him. Him and Jade both. Then Naomi, I don't know what exactly was there between us but it was something.

I sat outside and downed the bottle of whiskey. Able to feel nothing now. I felt a heavy sadness in my chest. I wanted Ma back. I wanted everything to be okay again, but it never was. It was even worse now. I hated myself for not being able to help her. Maybe I should have taken up another job. I couldn't help but fucking hate myself because I could have done so much more.

I got stuck in my head all the time now. I was alone. No where to go, no one around. I got my drunk self to go inside and layed on the small couch we had in the small living room. I dropped the empty whiskey bottle and my mind wondered to Naomi. I thought about her a lot. Part of me missed her greatly. She was the only person, that wasn't my family, that I really cared about.