The Devil You Know

Chapter 42: Visiting

Jade asked me to go to the gym with her, but I didn't, not today. Joel and I were going to visit Grandma, Jade of course wasn't upset at all, she understood and gave me a big hug before heading out with Brendan, it was just me and Joel now. I sighed, drinking from the whiskey bottle I had, I wasn't sure if I was ready to go see her again, she was so... Fragile, so different and I wasn't sure if I could handle it.

Our parents died when I was 10, Joel was twelve and we've lived with grandma ever since, she raised us, taught us everything we knew about life, we both knew she wasn't going to make it out of this, and we had to accept it, but it didn't make it any easier. I sat at the dining room table, crying silently as I pressed the bottle to my lips. Joel walked in and looked at me for a moment. He took the bottle from me, I fought him for it but he managed to get it out and just held me in his arms while I cried.

"Joel I'm not ready for her to go" he rocked me a little, running his hands through my hair comfortingly.

"I know, Nae, I know" he sniffled, I knew he was holding back tears too. "But she needs us right now more than ever" it only made sense to take care of her in her time of need, she took care of us for our whole lives. I wiped my face, I was tipsy but I pulled on my jacket and shoes and we headed to his car.

The whole ride there we were silent, he just held my hand, a few more tears slid down my face but I wiped them away. I thought about all the good memories I had with her. When she took me to the art gallery and just listened to me rant and rave for hours about all the art, or when she would listen to me talk about the boys I liked, and then held me when I cried because they broke my heart, she was not just a grandma, but a sister and a mother, she was the light of my life.

We walked into the hospital and I was shaking, Joel kept his arm around me as we walked slowly to her room, he was upset, but he stayed strong, not only for himself but for me, and for grandma, she wouldn't want us to be upset. We took a deep breath and together walked into her room. She sat on her bed, hooked up to all sorts of machines, her hands on her stomach as she watched old cartoons and laughed. Even in her last days she was still bright and bubble like we remembered.

She turned her head slowly and saw us, her eyes lit up immediately and she tried her best to sit up, she was weak and hurting. I was so sad to see her in pain, but regardless that she hurt, she tried her best not to show it. "Come here" she spoke softly, barely a whisper and held her hands open for me. I ran to her, wrapping my arms around her gently and placed my head as gentle as I could on her weak shoulder. She kissed my head, running her frail fingers through my hair. "Oh, Naomi, don't be so sad" she whispered, I looked up into her eyes, mom had her eyes. "You're my strong little girl, you can get through anything, darling." Joel came into her arms too and she held both of us. "Oh, Joel, my handsome, handsome boy" she smiled, kissing his temple. "You promise you'll take care of your sister?" He looked up at her, the same words mom and dad said to him long ago, he looked at me and then back to her.

"Of course grandma, always." She smiled again and we sat with her in her room, spending as much time with her as we could. We reminisced about memories, and I could see tears well up in her eyes every now and then, I never let go of her hand.

There was a soft knock at the door and then it opened, there stood Jade, Brendan close behind her and she liked at grandma with sad eyes, Brendan looked hurt, but he hid it, just like Joel did.

"Jade, honey" she smiled and opened her arms for Jade who walked to her and hugged her. She kissed her head as well and cupped her face, looking at her. "Jade, never give up, on anything" Jade let tears slide down her face and nodded. Brendan kneeled beside her bed and she put her hand on his face now. "Ah, you darling boy" she chuckled and coughed a little "You keep her out of trouble" Jade smiled a little and so did Brendan, nodding as he kissed her forehead. "Where's that cute brother of yours?" She whispered, looking around for Tommy, her memory was going, and I guess she didn't remember he left. The room went silent, and I was surprised when it was Jade who spoke up.

"He couldn't make it grandma" she whispered, holding her other hand, "he wanted me to tell you that he loves you" she smiled, grandma laughed a little.

"Mm, I remember now, he left with Molly" Jade looked down. "I know he loves me" she had a big smile on her face, but then looked seriously at Brendan and Jade. "Don't hold onto anger" Jade smiled and kissed her hand. They stayed with us too, for the whole day, just watching cartoons and talking with grandma, I didn't know if this was he last time I'd see her, I hoped it wasn't, I loved her more than anything in this world.