I Would Hate To Be You

Chapter 6 [bautista]

Chapter 6

I learned how to write my name when I turned four years old. But back then, hindi ko naman alam na panglalaki pala ang pangalang Andrei Bartholomew. I just scribbled it down when asked by my parents and my teachers way back in kindergarten.

It slowly dawned on me when I reached elementary. Every time na magbabago ang school year at may bago akong teacher, they would always think that I am a boy. Truth is, I struggled many times. I got bullied by some mean people. 

High school was almost the same. Except that I started to embrace a new nickname, Atom. Si Kuya Boaz ang nagbigay sa'kin—which I loved, because it sounded less-boyish. I mean, compared to Andrei Bartholomew, right?

So, no'ng first year high school ako, in-introduce ko ang sarili ko as Atom. Pero hindi pa rin ako nakaligtas dahil kailangan sa ID, exams, at documents na fi-fill up-an, full name. My classmates eventually found out and some of them teased me. The only difference was that in high school, I made an effort to accept myself fully. And I didn't let other people's behavior shape my identity. It was a difficult season, but I struggled daily together with my family. They all made me feel that there's nothing to be ashamed of. They made me realize that knowing someone and being known is beautiful. Regardless of who they are and what their name is. Most importantly, I learned that I only need the opinion of those who matter to me.

I composed myself and smiled at them, "Don't worry, it's okay. I get that all the time." I looked at Japh who seemed so embarrassed about what happened.

James saw the discomfort it brought to his friend. "We're sorry about this, Atom," he apologized.

"I think your name's cool!" singit ni G, malapad ang ngiti niya. "It's unique. Even your nickname."

Aww, look at him making his effort to console me.

James nodded and asked, "Would you mind, though, if I ask why you were named that?" The girl beside James glared at him. "Oh, never mind," he said, afterward.

"Ano ba kayo, it's okay. You don't have to feel bad. Plus, hello? My entire outfit screams that I'm a girl," biro ko sa kanila. That made them laugh. Napangiti ako. "Anyhow, to answer your question. My parents have always wanted to name their child Bartholomew. Two months pa lang ako sa tiyan ni Mama, finalized na ang pangalan ko. However, they found out that I'm a girl. And because they didn't want to let go of the other name, they decided to just add Andrei. Para mag-tunog babae pa rin. Drei was already accepted as a girl's name back then. Pero, we decided to stick with Atom as a nickname," paliwanag ko sa kanila.

"James, why are you being nosy?" the girl dissed him. "I'm sorry, Atom. You didn't have to explain it to us." She let out a smile. "My name is Mitch. I'm this person's girlfriend." Tinuro niya si James. Pagkatapos, inabot niya ang kamay niya.

"Hello," I said, receiving her gesture.

Tinuro niya ang kasama niyang babae. "And this is my best friend, Jillian."

"Hi," she reluctantly replied. Tipid ang ngiti niya sa'kin. Parang mahiyain siya. 

"Althea, kapangalan niya 'yung journalist crush mo!" masayang sambit ni Mitch. 

Jillian chuckled softly. "Yeah." 

All of a sudden, Cyrus snorted and his mood became sour. 

Wait. May bigla akong naalala. 

Last time sa Seattle's Best, may nabanggit si Guian na Atom daw ang pangalan ng crush ng babaeng kinababaliwan ni Cyrus. So . . . OMG! Is Jillian that girl?! I mean, wow. A Cyrus Trenton is in love with her? A Cyrus Trenton! Just . . . wow.