I Would Hate To Be You

Chapter 32 [ineffable]

Chapter 32

I've always had crushes. Crushes are fun especially those innocent and happy ones. Most of the time, they're harmless. Sure, when I was in high school, I was embarrassed to death when my teacher caught me sneaking out just so I could see the cute guy from the classroom next door. And yes, that one time when I screamed 'sexy bassist babe' during the benefit concert-which brought upon so much shame and embarrassment on my end-but eventually turned into a beautiful encounter that led me to where I am right now.

But aside from those cringe-worthy memories, I've always enjoyed having crushes. Because hello, ang saya kaya mag-admire ng mga tao from afar. 'Yung sumisilay lang gano'n tapos ngingiti-ngiti dahil napansin ka-regardless of the method on how you were noticed. I like the feeling of getting butterflies in my stomach and melting like freaking chocolate when my crush suddenly smiles at me. I like panicking when the guy's around and just giggling like crazy after having small talk with him.

Honestly, I've had this long-running list of happy crushes since I became a teenager. Half of them are real people, the other half are fictional. But usually, I easily get over my happy crush on someone when a new one comes along. Fine, may mga times na nago-overlap sila because sobrang rupok ni girl. Pero rare occasions lang 'yun. Anyway, madalas after a few months, nakaka-move on naman na ako at hindi ako tumatambay nang matagal sa pagkakagusto ko sa isang tao. It's just a happy crush anyway and most of them are strangers kaya hindi masyadong mahirap.

But goodness, Japheth Ephraim Bautista is a different story. Sobrang hassle i-uncrush. Jusko.

And since I'm struggling so much with understanding the reason why I just can't, I listed down the reasons why he's so difficult to uncrush:

#1. He's really nice - He is kind to his friends and to everyone. Sure, unlike Guian, he doesn't flash that friendly, big smile of his, but he's definitely not a snob. Given that people will initiate the conversation, he would gladly welcome small talks. And he listens to people—with full attention. Tanda ko pa ang una naming encounter sa Seattle's Best dati. Sobrang ligalig at daldal ko no'ng gabi na 'yun at pwede naman na hindi niya na ako pansinin at kausapin. Pero nang magsimula akong kausapin siya, tiningnan niya ako at nakinig siya. He listened to a very talkative stranger that night, no matter how uncomfortable it probably might have been.

And when he told me last May that he never treated me as a fangirl, I looked back on that night and realized that he's right, he never did. He's just naturally shy and quiet, and most of the time, people mistook him for it.

#2. He's very thoughtful - I've been with him and his friends a few times and whenever we eat or have a drink outside, he usually brings water for everyone - even when no one asks him to. He takes the initiative to serve us and he always asks us if we need anything else. And I don't know if he's aware of it, but I'm pretty sure one of Japheth's acts of showing his love language is through his act of service. I mean, it's in his nature.

Nakuwento sa'kin ni Guian dati no'ng bago pa lang siya sa banda nila, may isang beses daw na um-attend siya ng practice na hindi niya nagawang mag-transpose ng chords dahil sobrang busy niya. Of course, Cyrus flipped because if there's something he doesn't like it is when people go to the practice unprepared. So, while he was being nagged by Cyrus, Japheth, in silence, took the liberty of doing it for him. When he came back, there were the transposed chords, sitting on the music stand-with Japheth's handwriting. Guian never really told him about it but that was the time when he knew that Japheth was more than just a quiet guy. And he knew, they'll be friends for a long, long time.

Not only that, but he also remembers the smallest details about the people he cares about. His gestures are usually not grand, but he shows how much he values his loved ones with the little things that he does and remembers for them. Like the hot beverage, the art set he gave me, and the bass covers of my favorite TV series. Hindi ko inakala na sa dami ng mga bagay na nakuwento ko sa kaniya, may kwenta man o wala, pinakikinggan at inaalala niya. I was really moved. Those little things he did hit a home run that night.