Recompense [Fólkvangr End, Book 1] [Loki Fanfiction]

Chapter Thirty-Five

Author's Note: Hello, my precious. Okay. I'm sure that's not the best welcome back after the last chapter. Here are your safety blankets and hugs and cookies. I do apologize for a crisis of faith that I have evidently instilled in you. You can trust me--I promise! All will be well again...at some point. I do it for love, I promise. Okay, now onwards. We have to see what will become of our dear Valkyrie and our suddenly valiant Loki! Let me know what you think in the comments below!

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“Please, please wake up,” Loki whispers, stroking Valkyrie’s hair. Thor stands behind his brother, the pair fretting over her for a day now. Loki turns to look at Thor and Thor realizes Loki has been crying. He pulls Loki to his feet and pulls him into his chest, wrapping Loki up in his arms. It pains him to see Loki so distressed and it pains him further that he can do nothing to ease the pain. Eir has been by several times, but Loki is determined to heal her himself. There is only so much they can do as it is without returning her immortality.

“Thor, I want nothing more than for Valkyrie to be okay,” Loki says into his brother’s hair. “I don’t know what more I can do.”

“You can do what you can, brother. A little of your magic goes a long way,” Thor attempts to soothe him. He has seen how much of his magic Loki has channeled into healing her, and it has clearly done her good. Many of her wounds have closed due to his constancy at her side, healing her with what he can, taking care not to exert himself. Mostly only taking care because Thor has been keeping a careful eye, ensuring he doesn’t do something stupid. Loki would cut himself and bleed magic all over Valkyrie if he could. But both the brothers also fear using too much magic at once would overwhelm her frail form.

“We must convince Odin to grant her immortality, Thor,” Loki pleads with his brother.

“We are merely lucky to not have been imprisoned the moment we returned, Loki.”

“I know, I know. I fear she will not wake up and even if she does, she will not be the same,” Loki frets, sitting down again at her side, setting to stroking her blood-stained skin, hands glowing with magic. He leans over and kisses her forehead.

“Loki, you need rest,” Thor urges, knowing his words are falling on deaf ears. “At least try and rest here.”

Loki waits for the sound of the door to close behind Thor and then he crawls onto the bed, pulling Valkyrie against his chest, using his body to force magic into her body. Her head rolls against his shoulder and for a moment he fills with the hope that she is waking up, but his hope is quickly crushed. He gives an extra push of his magic and then, finally exhausted, passes out next to Valkyrie.

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I roll onto my side, feeling particularly sore, but that is no indication as to my true state. I can move and so I stretch my extremely sore arms and they fall onto something else. I open my eyes to see Loki and I scramble back in the bed, scurrying away from him. I pull my legs up to my chest, shaking my head from side to side.

“Please, please,” I whisper. He stirs, stretching like a lithe jungle cat, rubbing his eyes before focusing on me. He smiles a wide smile and reaches out toward me. I move to the edge of the bed. “Please don’t touch me.”

If I argue with the figment Loki, then maybe I can delay the inevitable again. The torture never ends, and now Thanos can simply worm his way in and give me false hope, make me believe I am with Loki again, safe and sound. But none of it is real. Not the kisses, or the happiness or the confrontation with my father and Odin that left a bitter taste in my mouth. Thanos made it all happen in my head. And here he goes again, convincing me all over. I thought I was done. I thought he wouldn’t torture me with the things I want more than anything, torture me with pseudo reality. It is worse than all the things he has done before—being torn to pieces over and over was more bearable than this.