I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have To Kill You (Killua x Reader)

Chapter 25- I x Care x About x You

Y/n's POV:

I watched as Killua closed the rest of the door behind him. I blinked. What just happened? I had a weird sensation tingling throughout my body, making me shiver.my eyes widened as I realised what I'd just said. I had hurt him. He'd been through so much already, and I'd just told him that he never cared. What had provoked me to do that? Yes, I was surprised that he'd left, but it wasn't his fault. He was concerned and confused. I looked down at my hands as a single tear leaked out of my eye.

"Idiot." I whispered to myself. Exhausted, I lay down again. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep.

This was the first night I'd had in a while without the silver haired assassin by my side.

Killua's POV:

I was jolted awake suddenly by a bad dream. I'd been having the same dream for days. Months, even. Y/n was eaten by this animal, and I was shouting frantically at her. Just as the thing opens its mouth, I wake up. Every single time. I couldn't help but wonder if maybe it meant something, and I needed to do something.

I sighed heavily and lay down again. The auction was tomorrow while Y/n would hopefully be at school, but there was always a chance she would decide not to go. Then, I'd have no choice but to tell her more about the game.

And how I wouldn't let her come with us into it.

I just didn't want her to get hurt. I knew she was strong, but I'd never really seen her in a proper fight. I just didn't know how well she'd be able to defend herself and I wasn't going to take any chances.

As if on cue, I heard a soft knock on my door. I stretched out my shoulders and sat up again.

"Yeah?" I said quickly, my eyes shifting towards the floor. I heard the door open and Y/n came in, looking ashamed.

"Hi..." She said awkwardly, closing the door behind her.

"Hey." I nodded, still refusing to look her in the eye. I felt the weight on my bed shift. Looking up, I could see she was sitting close to me. She took a long, deep breath.

"Listen, Killua..." She began. "What I did back there was probably the stupidest thing I've done in my whole life. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I need you to know that I would never deliberately hurt you. Never. Because..." She paused and smiled sadly at me. I could see her eyes begin to water.

"I really care about you, Y/n." I suddenly blurted out. Her eyes widened in shock. "And I hate more than anything to see you like this. So stop." She carried on staring at my neutral face, her cheeks reddening.

"I do too." She whispered. I felt a sad smile creep up on my face.

"And that's also why you can't travel with us anymore." Her smile quickly dropped and her eyes widened. She shook her head in disbelief.

"Wh- what?" She asked, horrified. "You can't just leave me here! I'll... I'll miss you guys..." She clenched both her fists on her lap.

"Y/n, Gon and I are leaving to go into Geed Island. Tomorrow. I've arranged for you to stay with your friend Tia. It'll be fine- we'll be back before you know it!" I smiled at her but she just narrowed her e/c eyes at me.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I sighed. This was going to be a long night.

"I don't know. I didn't want to add any extra stress on you." I reached out and tilted her head to meet my eyes. "We'll be gone for no more than three months. Just trust me, okay?" She looked hesitant, but she finally nodded.

"Okay, I trust you." I hugged her tightly, breathing in her comforting scent for the last time.

"If anything happens to you, and I mean anything, I'll come back. Okay?"

"Yeah."

"And if anyone gives you trouble-" suddenly, I heard a shout of laughter from y/n before she looked up and grinned at me, squeezing my hand.

"You should go do what you have to, okay? Don't worry about me. I'll be fine!" She gave me a peck on the cheek, among me blush slightly. "I can take care of myself. I'm a Hunter too, you know." My eyes widened in shock. I didn't think this would be so easy. I couldn't help but break into a smile.

"Thank you, Y/n." I whispered, looking into her beautiful e/c eyes. How could one person be so gorgeous? "You don't know how much this means to me. Especially after everything that's happened recently." She flinched slightly at my words but quickly edged closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder and closing her eyes. She looked like an angel. She suddenly opened her eyes and looked at me, her cheeks dusted a light pink.

"Um... Do you think you could stay with me tonight?" She bit her lip, her face getting even redder. I just laughed at her and kissed her forehead.

"Yeah." She lay back down on the bed, her h/c h/l hair spreading all around her. I lay next to her, snaking my arm around her torso and pulling her closer. She looked slightly shocked at first, but quickly relaxed and put her arms around me too. She smiled softly at me, and I smiled back.

"I guess I'll see you when I see you." She laughed lightly, letting her eyes flutter closed.

"I guess so."

She had no idea just how long I may be gone for.

And how I might never see her again.

AN:

WOW AN UPDATE XD it's been way too long- I'm so sorry guys :s well I'm back now and I really hope you enjoyed this slightly boring chapter. I promise the next one will be a lot better!

Thanks so much for sticking by me everyone. I love you all<3

- Melissa