I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have To Kill You (Killua x Reader)

Chapter 31- Is x This x Goodbye?

  
I walked out of the school gates after a long day of work, exhaling softly. Even though I'd done something bad, I was slightly put out that Killua didn't show up for my birthday. I got that he was busy, but surely he could have at least phoned?

"Y/n?" Tia shouted in my face, making me jump. "You zoned out again! We're going out for ice cream? Want to come?" I looked at all their hopeful faces and sighed heavily.

"I think I'll just head back. There's some things I need to think about." They all nodded in understanding and we said our goodbyes. I began walking home, fighting the urge to cry yet again.

I kicked a can along the sidewalk, clasping my hands behind my back. I knew I should really phone him up and tell him now while I had the chance, but I just couldn't bring himself to. I felt terrible about last night, and I didn't know what to do with myself. When they came back, I wouldn't be able to act the same around them. Also, if I told them would Killua just get up and leave me? The thought sent a shiver down my spine. I'd have to convince him that what happened wasn't real, and it never would be. What if I-

Without warning I felt a pair of muscular arms wrap around my waist from behind me, making me scream out in panic. What the...?

"Happy birthday, Y/n." I heard a comforting voice call out. Gulping, I slowly turned around to see none other than Killua, smiling deviously at me. I gasped and immediately hugged him back, resting my head on his shoulder. Had he gotten a lot stronger or was it just me?

"I thought you'd forgotten." I whispered, fighting back the urge to burst into tears right then and there and to let the truth come out.

"I would never forget your birthday Y/n." I smiled into his neck. His eyes suddenly lit up. "Oh yeah, and guess what I have?" He pulled away briefly to take out his Hunter licence.

"That's great!" I said, kissing him on the cheek. "Where's Gon?"

"Still in Greed Island." My eyes widened.

"What?" I croaked.

"Y/n, I'm only back for today and then I have to go back. We're close to completing the game. We have ninety nine cards and we're about to participate in an in-game event to get the last one. We shouldn't be gone for much longer. I'm sorry." He apologised.

"Don't you dare apologise." I said to him. "I've done something awful, Killua." He looked at me, obviously confused by what I was saying. I took a deep breath in and took his wrist, leading him to a nearby bench. To my surprise he pulled his hand out of my grasp, wincing and gritting his teeth in pain. I turned to look at his hands, which were now in his pockets.

"Killua, show me your hands." I said. He looked slightly taken aback, but managed a small smile.

"It's nothing, really." I squinted at him and gently took one of his hands, which was bandaged up, swelled and bloody, both of us sitting down on the bench. I gasped and shook my head in disbelief.

"What happened?" I asked him, still shocked. He sighed deeply and his smile dropped.

"Dodgeball."

"Come again?" I said, raising my eyebrows. "Look, it's not important right now. I need to tell you something." I took a long, deep breath and looked him dead in the eye.

"Yeah?"

"I..." I began. His eyes snapped up, as if he suddenly remembered something.

"Oh, I almost forgot." He said,giving me a small smile.

But I-" 

"Be quiet." He said sternly, reaching into his back pocket and taking out a small present. He handed it to me and gestured for me to open it. I slowly opened the box, still in slight shock, and gasped. In front of me was the most beautiful necklace I'd ever seen. It was simple, yet I felt like it was made especially for me. I gently picked up the gold chain, staring at it in awe.

"It's... It's gorgeous."

"Here, let me put it on for you." He carefully took it from your hands and fastened it around my neck. He smiled at me and tilted my head to face his own. He then leaned in and kissed me on the lips, and it wasn't long before I kissed back. The warmth of his mouth sent a current running through my body. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, wanting more. We broke the kiss and I suddenly became aware of my surroundings again. My legs felt like jelly and I couldn't stop smiling. I was thrown back into the real world.

"Killua... I kissed Chris." His eyes widened in disbelief and his happy face quickly turned into a frown.

"It was last night. He kissed me... And I kissed back. I don't know why, I really don't, and I've never regretted something more in my whole life." I broke eye contact with him and shifted my gaze to the floor. "I know you probably don't understand since I don't really myself, but it wasn't real and ever since then all I've been feeling is guilt. I'm so, so sorry." After several minutes of silence, I finally decided to look at him. I saw sadness in his eyes. He looked like he could break any second now. I felt my eyes begin to water. He suddenly stood up, his bangs casting a shadow over his eyes.

"Right." He stuffed his hands into his pockets and spun around, walking away slowly. He stopped and turned to me so I could meet his eyes again, which looked like deep blue holes of emptiness. "Obviously the fact that you told me means a lot more to me than some stupid kiss, but that doesn't stop it being betrayal." I nodded, averting my gaze. "I guess I'll see you whenever." And with that, he disappeared again. But this time I was pretty sure he wasn't coming back.

AN:

So xD you made a stupid decision but was that decision really enough for him to leave you like that? I guess so :) will he come back after he's completed Greed Island or leave you? Only time will tell:3

Also, 20K views??!!!! WHAT? Thank you all so much<333 Hope you liked this chapter guys! Love you all<3