My Scars Exposed #wattys2018

Gone

I knew you were going to leave,

It was just a matter of when.

But a part of me seemed to believe,

that it would never happen.

I believed the lie, that you cared.

That I was your best friend.

But I saw it in your icy, cold glare.

You meant it, this was the end.

I gave it my all for over half a decade.

You knew just how to hurt me.

You never really planned to stay.

Now you're gone and I can finally see.

You were never really there in the first place.

You just didn't want to see me die.

I'm just another blurred out face,

and I know better than to ask why.

Why you'd put me through this.

Was it to watch me fall?

Because you knew that I'd still miss,

Miss you through it all?

Now that you're gone,

I can only blame myself.

Cause I know that you moved on,

Just to hurt someone else.

But part of me still needs you here,

You were my only reason to stay alive.

Now that I've got no one, dear...

It's time I say goodbye.

{Author's note: Like a lot of my poems, this one was about Josh. To be honest, I don't even remember writing it, but I found it in my notebook. xD I wrote it on 8/20/15. I'm gonna try to put dates now, lol. Anyways, Josh was my best friend, as I've stated a million times before. For a while, I thought he was the best thing that ever happened to me. We were 'friends' for over five years and I trusted him with everything. In July, he decided to tell me to go away, that he really was done with me, after swearing he'd never leave, and since then... I've probably cried a million times, curled up with his hoodie. I just miss him so much. I want to know what I did wrong... I want my Joshawott back..}