My Scars Exposed #wattys2018

Broken Glass

  You can ask me over and over again,

   If I'm "just okay."

   But if you were me, you'd know my pain.

   What it feels like everyday.

    It's like walking on broken glass.

   There's no way around it, you'll bleed.

    Your heart will slowly start to crack,

    Break and fall apart, piece by piece.

    Drawing with razors on your skin,

    Though you told mommy you'd stop.

    Blaming yourself for what he did,

    Wishing you'd told the cops.

    Everyday you'd contemplate,

    Just how to take your life.

    How can you end the hate,

    Without a blade or a knife?

    I can't walk on broken glass forever.

    I can't take it back.

    As long as I have someone there, and we walk together,

    My world isn't completely black.

    I've been trapped inside this cage for too long.

   I just want it to go away.

    Daddy, I'm not that strong.

    Why do I have to stay?

    Daddy battled cancer for me.

    His eldest daughter, his little mistake.

   Said it's cause he loves me,

   But he enjoys watching me break.

    Mommy doesn't understand,

    She thinks it's just a phase.

    But she wasn't holding my hand,

    When I was raped.

    She couldn't stop the bleeding between my legs.

   She couldn't pull him off of me.

    She doesn't believe it happened, she thinks I just made a mistake.

   But she just doesn't see, does she?

    I wasn't ready yet.

    But I'm falling apart now.

   I wish I were dead,

   I wish I could leave town.

    My heart's been cut by broken glass.

    And God, it hurts so fucking bad.

    This storm of regret just won't pass.

   I just want to go back to how it was.

    I want to forget everything.

    I wish I never fell in love.

    Cause love's a losing game,

    All it does is cut you like broken glass.

    Till you bleed out and you have nothing...

     Authors note

   I wrote this the other day. I was thinking about my life and it just spilled out on the paper. This is it. That's my life. I forgot the trigger warning. But please don't be sad or feel bad for me. It's just something I was meant to go through. I'm sorry to those I've hurt. I was unfair to you. I dedicate this to you.