***A/N
Sorry, I know I haven't posted poetry in a while. I've wrote a few down, though, so I figured I'd post.
Kay, leggo.**
Sleepless Nights
I gave him my heart for free,
He sold me broken dreams.
And hundreds of sleepless nights.
Blood in, blood out, this can't be the way to live.
Who's to say I was ever alive in the first place?
Just cause I'm breathing, doesn't mean I'm living.
He took it all away.
I can't stand trying to feel, ridding myself of the pain.
More nights pass by, nights of no sleep.
Tears and screams keep me awake.
I keep hoping the next cut will be too deep,
Cause then my nights will finally be consumed by sleep.
Neverending sleep with not a single dream,
Every time I get close to sleeping, he's in my head again.
So what do I do to drown out his voice?
I create artwork on my skin,
Though it only consists of red paint and soon to fade straight lines.
I loved him, I really did.
I thought he loved me too,
But it was just a game, a game made for two, but played by one.
And if he loved me, he didn't show it,
Just held me down and bruised my bones.
I waited almost 8 months for him to change, but maybe I should have just changed myself.
I lay awake, dreading the next day, knowing he'll be there again, around the corner of my locker.
He's so happy that he has her, and even if I was the one that left,
It kills me just to see that.
He's happy without me.
And even though he caused me all of that pain,
I still miss him, still wish he'd be there to hold me.
These sleepless nights have never been so scary, so cold, so lonely.
They said it'd only hurt for a little while, that I'd move on.
But how can I, if I have no one to move on with?
I can't force anyone to love me,
Can't force them to care.
Cause I know that no one does,
That if they have love, they'd never share.
I can only re-open my old cuts.
The truth is ugly, knowing he never loved me.
He used me.
Abused me.
I only allowed it because I thought it was my fault.
I know it was, or he wouldn't have done it.
Doesn't someone born to hate,
Deserve to be hurt in that way?
A hundred sleepless nights,
And I'm somehow still alive.
But I wish I wasn't.
It'd be so much easier if I died.
YOU ARE READING
My Scars Exposed #wattys2018
Thơ ca"We've all got our horrors and our demons to fight. But how can I win when I'm paralyzed?"-Bring Me The Horizon Poetry has been a big part of my life for a long time now. I express my feelings on these pages (screens?) because sometimes it's hard to...
