My Letters to God.

Letter 13

God, what is wrong with me? The feeling came back and I don't know why again. It's storming a lot huh? Anyways, I don't know why my stomach is being weird again and my arms are starting to tingle once more. It's like I'm forgetting something and can't remember what it is. Also my thoughts are strange. I can't stop having conversations with myself for some reason. I'm not questioning myself but it's like I'm trying to verbally fight with myself about you. Yet it doesn't feel like I'm talking to myself. I'm talking to another person. Why am I like this? What is this feeling that pops out of nowhere at times? What is the root of all of this? God, I don't know what to say or think so can you guide me once more please. I want to do good; I do and lead people to you. I want to get strong and courageous for you; be a good and loyal soldier but at times I stumble and get confused. My brother is going through what my sister and I went through and I don't want him to. I don't want to see him become like how I did; that madness. Siblings stick up for each other. That is basically what he told me the other night and I couldn't help but see him for what he is. Growing up. His heart is still pure and I pray to you that he stays that way. He grows to be wise and kind hearted. I pray that he doesn't get as angry as he does now, same goes for me. I pray that we have patience and understanding and that your love fills us whole and pours out to others and that sparks your light in them as well. I know my thoughts get mixed up even for me so I ask for forgiveness for anything I think or do that hurts you Lord. I don't want to be led astray and away from you. I don't want to be like the Pharisees. Sometimes thoughts like "It would be better if I knew nothing of you" crosses my mind but then why go back to how I was? What's all this work for? I don't want to go back. I'm fighting for a reason. I know and am seeking you because I don't want to be like those soulless people. I want to do good and go to heaven with my family. Is that wrong God? Am I wrong? Selfish? I am so sorry! You're the one and only God and king! You sent Jesus down to pay for our sins, your only son. You're giving us the free will to follow you instead of oppressing us. Thank you for everything! Thank you and give me the strength to be faithful to you. I pray for everyone to know you are the one and only God. I pray that my brother and bubbles get the courage to talk to their parents about how they feel and for their parents to listen and actually hear them out. I pray Ileana come away from the path she's traveling on. I pray Jack gets out of that depression, that you lead him out and that he starts praying or think about what I said and try talking to you. I pray for Karen that whatever troubles she's going through in her life that you pick her up when she stumbles and falls. I pray that you work through all our lives and use us to work through others' lives as well. Let our hearts not be hardened and our intents be pure, not deceitful. In the name of Jesus: Amen. Amen.

Candy.