My Letters to God.

Letter 52

The battle isn't over. Sometimes I want it to end God. For you to come back Jesus and take us home but I know that's selfish of me. I feel that it's selfish of me because I want peace and there's tons of others that have yet to find you and stay strong. Forgive me Lord for being selfish. I just grow tired of this battle through me. I know it's not me, I'm being attacked and I'm trying not to trip. Jesus...what does God have in store for me??? What is my destiny that the devil keeps trying to make me fall and drag me down? At times it sends shivers down my spine with the things that goes through my mind and I begin to feel like a monster on the inside. It's weird because I feel that if I'm not firm I won't get to go with you in Heaven Jesus. I'm sorry! I don't want to be the person that's tossed by the waves. Please don't let me go Jesus! Don't turn on me! Help me stay strong Lord! Only you are the way and the truth and the light! Forgive me. Help me and others like me to keep our eyes on you and not on the storm. This isn't over. The battle will always continue until you come back Jesus so please Lord give us strength to fight and rebuke the devil. Help us stay firm in our belief in you because you are worth it! Help me...forgive me Lord. Who do I talk to??? I want to so bad to tell others of these things yet it's hard for me. I keep thinking and worrying. I would like to tell Monica or my dad but then how do I say it? How do I tell them what goes on through my mind and what will they say??? How will they react? Please keep me strong. I never want to turn my back on you! Never! Please don't let go of me! Please don't let me lose hope...don't let this fire in me die Jesus! God please help me! No! This battle isn't over and I am not going to let go of you God! I am not going to give in to this serpent in my head! I will never turn on you because you are my everything! You kept my family alive throughout the years. You took my mom home-she's resting now until you come Jesus. My dad been through a lot and you watched over him throughout all these years. I did stupid things and yet you saved me each and every time and still watch over me. You opened my eyes and I will not disrespect you by turning away! You gave me many chances-I don't and never will want to blow that! You loved me so much you gave your Son-YOUR OWN SON to die on that cross for my sins. MINE. not His yet JESUS took the pain I DESERVED because he wanted me to get saved! You have me in your plan and I don't want to and wont give in to the enemy. Lord give me strength to fight back aggressively and be firm in you. Be my anchor and rock. I pray for my siblings as well and my church leaders around the world that they are well and you speak through their lips to bring others to you and that with our mouths we glorify you and you alone God. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for bring my dad back to you. Thank you for Brenda and her kids in our lives. In the beginning I didn't understand and was angry, borderline hating Brenda but you work in mysterious ways Lord. Whatever happens between them let it be your will Lord. If they are meant to be then let them be married but if not then please let them break up with other so they won't live in sin. Forgive all of us of our sins Lord Jesus and help us do better and I pray for my friends that they may be well and that whatever struggle they are going through Lord that you lift them up Jesus and keep them strong. I pray that they know everything will be alright because you are with us Jesus an that the only way we fail is when we turn away from you. Please speak through me Jesus. God use me to bring others to you. When fear grips me, push me aside and speak through God. Use me to awaken my other siblings to you. Thank you for giving us life God in Jesus Almighty name: AMEN!

Candy.