My Letters to God.

Letter 106

Good morning God. Thank You for waking me and my family up. Jesus, life been pretty good but I don't feel I'm spending enough time with You Lord.  I feel I'm slacking but my brain is just meh. I keep trying to figure out what to read in the bible and so far I'm in genesis again reading about Jacob after he married Leah and Rachael. I could read some of the profits but forgive me God....the prophets stories sort of scared me last time but if they are what You want me to read then I'll read them. Just please help me clear my mind so it won't go dangerous. I spent some time with the fiends You gave me! It was great. We went to the park and just walked around. Talked and threw some sticks. It was relaxing just being there with them and talking about innocent things instead of what I'm use to but feel uncomfortable around. Josie is nice and it's cool that she's into film making! That was awesome finding out and it felt nice to just be myself and even talk about my past without feeling like I'm the worst person on earth compared to others. I even admitted that I still think about the past things I use to like. Some things I will never get and some things I still need a lot of learning to do. I think I do better with people older than me because I relate more to older people than younger people. Younger people I can just play around with and not think which is cool but I have a hard time relating to them, especially when they are my same age. It gets intimidating as if I'm back in school just trying to grasp what the other girls and boys are saying Jesus. With older people, it's more relaxing and I can actually keep up with what they talk about because they don't really talk about trends or boys. I feel more at ease I guess. They talk about their job or their years growing up, their stories. Places they want to visit. I sound weird because younger people talk about that too but I guess at church when I talk to people my age I always end up feeling a bit left out because I don't live around them and I don't know what they talk about unless it's church. My communication skills still need working on I guess because I didn't ask them for their numbers....I sort of just shoved my phone in their faces and said "Phone number..." like an awkward person which I am. Maybe I feel more at ease with older people or specially Josie and them God because of the women retreat. I had to be transparent with them and that meant just opening myself up. I couldn't hide God and so majority of everything got tossed in them and thank You God that I wasn't alone! Maybe it's because with the older women I met, I made a connection with them and with the girls my age, it's just "We're in bible study together." We play around and laugh but...my jokes are weird Jesus. I tried playing around with Genesi when she wriggled her eyebrows at me. I went "I don't go that way Genesi" because I always been use to playing that way which maybe I should stop but she took me serious! I got so confused God when she got serious and then I remembered "Right. She probably wasn't raised like that and I shouldn't have said that..." I hope God that, that incident doesn't get out of proportions. I should learn to be much more nicer in my jokes Jesus because sometimes I can go too far. I think I did that with my aunt. Me and my uncle were poking fun at her but maybe I went too far because she got mad. She said it was my uncle but I joined in too so I'm at fault as well. I miss writing to You Jesus. It sort of feels as if I haven't written or texted my best friend in a long time. Like I didn't know how much I missed just conversation with You God. I try to talk to You God through out my day but I always feel like I'm doing it wrong or if I can do better. Maybe I can but my brain never wants to start up. I always end up trying to think of what to say or what to pray for Jesus. I thank You for everything I have and what You are doing in my life and the life of my family. Please let this be another blessed day God! In Jesus name: Amen.

Candy.
I Love You Jesus.