HeavyDirtySoul | Tyler Joseph |

Øne

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I carelessly hopped into the passenger seat of my older brother's car.

Of course I didn't buckle myself in..

I slammed the navy blue door after me, clapping my hands together contently. It was hot as ever, being the middle of summer and all. It was Sunday afternoon, and after spending countless hours helping our father in the garden, we decided an ice cream run was in order.

So that's how we got here. He twisted the key, the engining roaring with life. He doesn't buckle himself either. We weren't paying attention to anything really.

The drive was only 7 minutes, it was fine.

"See you kids in a bit!" Our father calls, waving to us as my brother backed out of the slightly slanted driveway. I wave to him, grinning wildly.

And then we start our trek to the ice cream parlor.

"What are you planning on getting?" I ask my brother softly. I don't want to distract him too much, as he was driving and all.

"Good question, I'm actually not sure." He lets out a small laugh afterwards, squeezing the steering wheel slightly. It wasn't out of nerves or anything, just a habit he did.

"Well I know I'm getting a chocolate sundae!" My 12 year old self exclaims. I was beyond excited for this.

We gently come up to a stop at the stop sign. He gives the right of way to the other cars on our left and right, and then he continues on.

I move my attention to the soft pop song playing on the radio. I don't know the name, not even the artist. I tap my hand on my lap along to the beat that is already crawling its way into the deep crevasses in my mind.

We approach a relatively busy intersection though, it wasn't so busy right now. The light flashes green so obviously, my brother drives forward.

It was our turn to go, our right of way. He didn't have to look left or right to check the oncoming traffic because there shouldn't have been any oncoming traffic.

It was as if god was punishing us on our seemingly perfect day. What had we done wrong? Apparently something that was had to make up for the tragedy that happened to us that very day. Was it the fact we didn't wear our seatbelts? Or the fish we killed at our cousins cottage earlier that summer?

If it wasn't for that damn GMC truck that didn't care if his light was red who was plummeting its way through the intersection, he wouldn't have slammed into the driver's side of my brothers stupid little navy Toyota, that sent us a quarter of a full circle to our right.

It was as if time slowed down, as the car hit ours. The glass window shattered, flying in all different directions. The sharp jolt that left me with terribly whiplash. That left my brother with no more time on the earth- alive that is.

The impact sent my head flying into my window, giving me a dull, pulsing pain every so often.

I opened eyes, completely and utterly dazed and confused. My hand reaches up to feel light blood trickling from where I hit the window. The pain in my wrist was also pounding away. As were little pricks in my skin, it was so overwhelming I had no clue on what pain to focus on.

Then my thoughts went to my brother.. how was he? I had no clue yet. Everything went by so fast but also in a way it was as if time stopped. All I could hear was the pop song still playing on the radio.

With a lot of dizziness and pain, I avert my eyes to my older brother, who's head rests against the black leather steering wheel. His arms lay motionless by his side. He would have looked peaceful if it wasn't for the blood seeping from his nose and the few small shards of glass imbedded in his skin.

I try to scream at him- but I can't find my voice. The shock hasn't completely left me yet. My thought process was fine, but I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I was not paralyzed but I feel like I was when my brother didn't react to my pleas moments later. When I had finally gotten his name out, a single word, he did not react.

After all the pent up emotions I was feeling, I finally let out a blood curling scream of 'bloody murder'. It was so loud and piercing it could have broke glass. And still, no motion from my brother next to me.

I reach my uninjured wrist over to him and shove his shoulder lightly. I push him, like I used to when mom would ask me to wake him up on weekends when he would sleep in. He would wake up, groan, and ask for 5 more minutes before sleeping peacefully once again.

But this time, he didn't move to my touch. He didn't speak or groan. His lifeless body simply stayed put.

By now people surrounded our car, shouting at us to see if we were alright but I ignored their cries. I shook my head and tried to wake my brother. He was probably just passed out from the impact. I hoped for the best when deep deep down I knew the worst has already occurred.

That when I noticed I was crying. I wasn't even sure if I was crying from the pain, or crying from the fact I got no response from my brother. I wiped my tears with the collar of my blue t shirt.

I tried more times to shake him awake from his so called sleep. I so desperately wanted his eyes to shoot open, so he could lean over and hug me assuring me everything is fine and and everything will be okay. But that time never came. His body only moved when I shoved his shoulder slightly harder than the last time.

I was snapped from my episode when an elderly man rips my door open, firing questions at me asking me if I'm injured, and about my brother and a bunch of others I frankly didn't care to listen to, all my thoughts were pulled over to my brother and what was yet to come.

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