Can't do it

chapter 11

Raiden's POV

"Danny? Sure she sounds cool" I said once Shawn told me abut her and Shawn did a little fangirl dance and squeal "I'm so glad you say that Raiden!" He says once he's calmed down a little "because we're going to meet her this weekend!" Derek looked at me but I was froze "Are you okay, Raiden?" He asked a little worried, I nodded "I was just gunna go out with Toby on a date..." I said pulling a little box outta my pocket to show them what I meant . "Oh my baby!" He's getting engaged!!" Shawn fangirled even more than before crying happy tears. Derek patted me on the back "We support it buuuut he isn't allowed to move in with us yet" he winked to say he was joking and gave me a look of 'be good' and i just laughed "FaceTime me so I can meet the brat" Derek nodded and shawn hugged me still crying with happy tears before letting me go "I'll go make cookies tonight for desert and we can watch American Horror Story while we eat dinner" he said going into the kitchen to make dinner.

Derek stopped me before I could go upstairs. "I thought you were waiting until after graduation to propose to him" he said handing me a Mikes hard lemonade. Since it was low in alcohol I was allowed to have one when Derek had one, which wasn't that often. "I was going to wait but I don't want to... I dunno... Should I wait till graduation?" I asked confused, fiddling with the little box. Derek chuckled "I think it would be romantic to do it at graduation and I'm sure Toby would appreciate it too, but that means you're coming with to meet Danny." I smiled at the thought of making Toby so happy that he cries and nods his head yes because he's too happy to say it. "it'll be worth the wait." I decided running upstairs to my room to hide the little box in my underwear drawer.

At dinner I told Shawn my plan for graduation and he smiled " We can still celebrate together one last night before we can celebrate with Danny." He said sitting on the couch cuddling the Derek while I sat in the lazy chair next to the couch turning on American Horror Story.

Shawn and Derek fell asleep cuddled up on the couch together before the second episode finished, and I turned it off after 4 episodes and decided to upstairs to my bed for some lovely sleeping. I had a dream about Toby of course except it took a very dark turn, darker than I think I want my life to go.
   I woke up in a cold sweat and tears "it's not happening like that" I whispered to myself not seeing Shawn "what's not going like what?" He asked from my doorway making me jump and cover myself " oh chill no one wears pants to bed." He said rolling his eyes "I had a bad dream where I died right after I was finally happy... I was married to Toby and we had 2 kids." I said smiling a little, and Shawn giggled.  "Come down stairs we're heading to get Danny" I nodded and closed the door after he left.
    I grabbed my orange DC tee shirt, my big blue hoodie, jean jacket, and obviously skinny jeans. Black and ripped, just like how I love it and headed downstairs. "Dad" I called as I tumbled down the steps "have you seen my phone?" Derek came out from the kitchen in his casual clothes "you're still grounded." He reminded me and I pouted but Shawn came from the living room and pulled my charged phone from his back pocket and handed it to me. I cautiously took it "oh I didn't rig it to zap you don't be like that" he swatted at me and I ducked so I didn't get smacked upside the head by Derek "get in the car" he huffed.
   In the car ride I texted Toby 'baby I'm getting a sister' I typed and got an immediate text back 'OMG that's awesome, got your phone back?' I sunk lower in my seat to get comfortable 'yeah, and her name is Danny, she's like me but different background' another quick reply 'speaking of background... Did you quit that other job?' I sighed knowing I had to lie to him 'of course I did baby' I squeezed my eyes shut. I don't believe I told anyone I was basically a prostitute. I go to a bar and offer a price to be used, but I'm disease free because I'm not dumb enough to let someone touch me without safety that's just nasty. 'You're lying' he took a bit on this message 'how'd you know?' I replied 'it's obvious, I know you too well' I smiled 'I'll quit soon' I told him and he sent an emoji showing he didn't believe me 'I will!' I sent and another emoji was sent to me, a kissy face and a heart, I sent them back.  "Guys can I smoke?" I asked so casually because they allowed two in the car, one on the way there and on the way back. Shawn sighed and handed me my pack, they didn't know I always had another on me at all times.
   I lit if and rolled down my window breathing it in and letting it out slowly. I watched the trees pass and the clouds follow as I came to an end of my killing stick. I flicked it out the window and wrote a little in my notes on my phone, I love writing and I kinda want to be a writer but I get told it's not possible.
    It took a while to get there but we got there and Shawn and Derek went to the door quickly while I followed slowly and stayed behind them. They knocked on the door and a older lady came to the door smiling and looking like she was trying to look younger with crazy colored eye shadow 'that color is so not you, try tan' my voice was bein sarcastic today, I like it when it's sarcastic. We were let in and sat on the couch, she pinched my cheeks telling me I was a cutie "please stop I'm 16 years old I'm not a child." I spoke for my voice in my head but she just patted my head and gave me a cookie which I gladly ate.
"Danny! Get down here!" The lady yelled up the stairs for her as if she were half deaf "I'm comein!" A girls voice shouted back and then heavy footsteps down the stairs.
A girl with long black and bright blue streaks in her hair came down in a band shirt and ripped up dark blue and black skinny jeans. 'Black and blue much?' I laughed a little from my voice being sarcastic again and Shawn shot me a dirty look and I stuck my tongue at him and Derek made a motion to cut my tongue off and I shove it back in my mouth. Danny giggles a little before going back to a straight face. Her bangs were in her eyes but I could tell she was looking at us and deciding if she wanted to be on our family. "I'm Danny" she finally said to me "Raiden's the name being gay is my game" I said leaning back "you're gay too?" She asked "like Shawn and Derek?" She looked a them and I nodded taking out my phone and showing her a wallpaper which was me kissing Toby's face and he was closing the eye that was in the side of the cheek I was kissing and the other eye was open and looking at the camera "Awww you guys look so cute" she started fangirling "do you guys go on dates, hold hands, an kiiiiiss?" She held out the I in kiss and giggled.
We talked for a while before she decided she wanted to come home with us and we talked a while in the car. We took a selfie and sent it to Toby who replied 'she's sooooo cute!! Can I meet her??' We laughed and she text him through my phone 'hi! I'm Danny! New little sister, I'd love to hang with you guys, would you mind if I drew you two?' He quickly messaged back 'Omg you can draw! Go ahead!!' I got my phone back and she started to draw "can I?" I asked Shawn who sighed and handed me my pack "you smoke?" Danny asked as I lit it and dragged it. I nodded blowing the cloud of smoke out the window. My sleeves rolled down as I flicked the left over ashes and Danny gasped at all my scars only to roll up her sleeves to show me her tiny scars which I gave a little slap "no" I whispered "why" she whispered back "don't turn out like how I did" I whispered sadly "only you can change how you are, Toby was my help, let me be yours" I said in a low voice.