Can't do it

Chapter 5 More...

I'll actually be posting another chapter right after this one so enjoy this one;

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I counted them and realized a couple were gone. As I thought I held on to a blade and fiddled with it, accidentally cutting my finger. I yelped a little and jerk my hand back leaving a trail of my oozing blood to follow. "Are you okay?!" Toby sounded frightened before noticing I was bleeding, his eyes widened and he ran out of the room, only to soon return with disinfectant and a band-aid.

He wiped the cut clean of blood and applied the disinfecting, causing me to wince, and put a band-aid on "you could be a doctor," I said smirking "paging doctor Toby" I mimicked a nurse's voice and ended up laughing, then I took notice to his tomato red face "what?" I asked "n-n-nothing!" he said getting up, sat at my desk again and worked on our project.

After a bit the sweet little boy with short brown hair ran into m room crashing into me, still on the floor, and sat on my chest so I could see his pretty green eyes "Hey there Sammie" I said ruffling his curly hair "rei rei rei, guess what!" he said super excited, I could see it in his eyes so I went along "What is it?" I asked smiling sweetly. "I'm getting adopted!" he said bouncing making me grunt since he was still on my chest. I sat up and stood him in front of me "That's great Sammie! I'm so proud of you for getting adopted!" I said genuinely happy for him, I grabbed his hands and made him dance with me, soon he let go of my hands to hug me"It's all because of you big brother! Thank you for helping me" He said softly but excitedly I kissed his head and hugged him back in reply. "Now go pack you have a family to get to!" I said shooing him out of my room. He skipped out of my room to his, Angie's and Bell's room. They all shared a room because they were little and gender didn't matter at their young age, Me and Nick shared a room because we were close in ages and the same with Andy and Cas although Cas is going to be moving out on his own since hes almost 19 and all he has to do is graduate, which I'm sure he can manage.

I got up and brushed off my hoodie front "Sorry, the kids get really excited when they get adopted, although this is Sammie's first time getting adopted so I hope everything turns out okay." I said to Toby while watching my door, when I realized Toby wasn't typing I turned to see him watching me with his eyes widened a little.

When he noticed I was watching him stare he shook his head "Sorry, I forgot this is your foster home" and he went back to typing. After about an hour or two he stopped typing and asked "So, how many times have you been adopted?" His question was out of the blue so I was a bit taken back and didn't answer at first so he shook his head "I'm sorry, it's none of my business" he started and I shook my head quickly "no no no it's okay, you just took me by surprise, that's all. I was going for a trial I guess you could say, it was to see if maybe they wanted to adopt me, but when they found out about most of the stuff i do or think they decided they didn't want a broken child. That had to have been about 6 or 7 times that has happened to me." I finished

I didn't notice that he got up until he was between my legs hugging me, My body responded on it's own by wrapping my arms around his slender waist and laying back bringing him with me. As he laid there on my chest i heard him silently cry into my chest "I'm so sorry" he kept whispering, I didn't say anything, I just kept petting his hair in my own way saying it was okay.

After 10 minutes he just laid there, he didn't say anything or move or even cry, he just laid there. Eventually he fell asleep and I did too so when Sammie came to warn about dinner, he just covered us up and brought up the food for when we woke up later, he's such a good kid. I wonder why I haven't heard from the voice since earlier...well it's not here, no point in questioning it I guess. I soon fell into a long dreamless sleep

We finally woke up around midnight and Toby crawled off of me mumbling "Sorry" leaving me a strange feeling of disappointment that he got off. My hair was a little messy so I went to the bathroom to fix it, as I looked at my hair I realized that I hadn't taken a shower in a while, and hoped I didn't smell as bad as I looked. "Toby I'm going to take a shower" I said walking up to him, he nodded in response not turning away from our almost complete project.

Most people say guys take less time showering and for the most part it's true, but when you're me and you brought a blade you'll take longer. I washed my hair and then my body before grabbing my blade delicately and letting the blade do its thing to my skin letting it slice through a few layers my my soft scared skin letting the blood seep out. I watched my blood mix with the water making it a pinkish color and then falling into the drain. It happened a couple of times before I started to feel the pain and a little woozy, so I put my razor down and stepped out of the shower and dried my self off, careful of my new soon to be scars. As for getting dressed I only grabbed my boxers, a black tee, and my normal hoodie so that's what I decided I was wearing, not bothering with pants. Stupid pants, being useless and everything.

Walking back into my room Toby spun around to face me "You took an awful long time and you're wearing a hoodie after such a long hot shower." He noted pulling on my sleeve. I tugged my sleeve back and eyed him "How did you know it was hot?" I questioned him and he shrugged and stood up. "Raiden let me see your arm" he said ignoring my question and holding out his hand. I hesitated before holding out my arm, I had to refrain from wincing as he touched my wrist trying to grab my hand.

As he pulled up my sleeve he noticed all the scars and his eyes teared up and he said "Take off your sweatshirt" with the tears working their way down his rosy cheeks. I did as I was told, letting him see all the bruises and scars all along my arms and even the "bruises" on my neck. "You mentioned you had a job...what is it?" he asked tracing his fingers along the "bruises" and even my old and new cuts "I-I can't tell you" I said looking away a little embarrassed "Raiden there isn't a reason for you to be embarrassed" he smirked and i noticed his eyes changed from bright blue to leaf green.

He kissed my cuts and looked me in the eye "kiss me~" he said sexually "T-T-Toby?!" I yelped, shock he even had that kind of voice and be backed up looking hurt "Calling another boys name when you're with me? Rude!" He pouted and it actually look ..... kinda cute.... I shook my head "What do you mean 'another name" your name is Toby...right?" I questioned myself and he chuckled in a deep voice, deeper than Toby's usual girly giggle. "My name's Ashton, I see that Toby wanted to keep me a secret this time," He said pushing me down on my bed and sitting on my lap "Do you want to be with Toby now? After learning his secret?" he cooed leaning closer "W-wah?" I was really nervous and confused, even bad boys like me get nervous when a good boy you know suddenly turns into a sex monster. He tilted his head"We are in one, me and Toby he has a double personality" He suddenly looked really tied and while he collapsed on my chest i heard him udder "'m sorry rei" and his eyes were closed. After laying back I didn't move, instead I laid there and held him. I think I like Toby a little bit more...