Can't do it

Chapter 12 Toby No!

It's only been two months since she's moved in and she's already driving me crazy! Every time I have Toby over she doesn't leave us alone, when I'm out for a smoke she keeps asking for one and I've been told not to let her have any so it's annoying. She even goes to the same high school as me, stupid freshman, I'm a junior it's so not cool to hang out with a freshman girl, some people who don't see me with Toby think I'm cheating on him with her and I had to beat the sense into them.

For like a week Toby was so pissed at me because he thought I was cheating on him too until he came over to finally meet Danny which once he saw I wasn't cheating he jumped into my arms and wrapped his legs around me trying to keep on, needless to say, Danny now has a picture of him clinging to me and me blushing. Creepy fangirl mode too, when Toby sleeps over he sleeps in my room and we cuddle in our sleep so he doesn't get switched with Ashton and my voice doesn't visit me, so Danny feels the need to come into my room and snap pictures of us cuddled up and sleeping. ugh.

But it's not all bad, I've learned a lot about her. Especially the week we got snowed in and Shawn and Derek were at a friends, unable to get home, sadly Toby was in Florida with his family so it was just us. When she was younger she was raped by her father, and her mother watched, then later beat her for sleeping with her own father. She had an older brother but he moved out right after graduating, leaving her behind all alone, she had dealt with it until someone had finally noticed the bruises on her and did something about it. I told her about my life and she started crying somewhere along the way. When I finished she hugged me like Toby had done when he first learned "it's okay" she said sadly and quietly.

Now days we talk sometimes and she minds her own business except for now in the middle of the night when I'm trying to sneak out "Going to work?" she asked from behind me I sighed and turned around "Yes, don't tell Toby because we both know he thinks I quit this job" I told her like I usually do when she catches me. She rolls her eyes and climbs back up the stairs to her room, closing the door behind her and that's how I knew she understood too keep our usual secret.

As I walked to town I looked at all the snow melting, remembering Christmas with Toby and my family. His mother had let him celebrate with me and my family, Shawn Derek And Danny. We all put something under the Christmas tree for each member of the family, so I got something for Derek and Shawn which was a couple necklace, Danny which was three tickets to her favorite band whom she took me and Toby which was hella fun, and Toby, I got him his favorite movie, a band shirt, a band I got him into, and Noah's ark tickets, the amazing water park we decided on going to this summer. I received more band shirts, black hoodies, a new choker which had half a yin and yang symbol, I got the white on and Toby got the black one.

I felt horrible walking down the street, playing with the charm on my choker. I knew this was getting me a lot of money but Toby didn't like it. I didn't want him to be mad at me for trying to keep money. I know I don't need the money but It's useful for when we go one dates. When I got the the bar they don't ask for an ID, they already know who I am and why I'm there. "Raiden" they nodded to me and I entered after nodding back.

"Oh Raiden~ you're back~" one of the woman who pay me the most, not the mention the one with the biggest boobs, "lea, lovely meeting you here" It was a fancy bar so of course she would be there, "Raiden, how about I pay you double today~" she bribed dragging out his name a little, she disgusted him honestly, but he put on his play boy smile and fixed his tux "I'd love that, Lea, and for that I'm all yours tonight" I spoke in my deep voice. No one knows I'm only 16 turning 17 this year, they also didn't know I started at 13. I've always looked older than what I really was but I don't know how they didn't notice the crack in my voice.

Only a few hours later Lea was ready to leave and she was a bit drunk, sadly not drunk enough to to function, she dragged me to her house. At the moment her husband happened to have been across the country on a business trip and wouldn't be back all month, which meant that If I did good tonight, I'd get more than double paid and then I could finally quit this job. She disappeared into the bathroom and then soon reappeared in some sexy underwear, at least it would be sexy if I was straight. The only way I could get in the mood she wanted was to think of Toby....and then it began.

When it was all over I sat up, smoking a cigarette. I stayed up until she awoke once again, sleepiness resting in her green gem like eyes. She yawned and stretched "you did better than expected~" she purred like a lustful cat I played along to collect my award "my best is saved for you Lea" I said kissing her nose like I did with Toby and instantly felt a pang of regret. I didn't show much emotion in front of my customers, especially with them about to pay me. She got up, naked, and walked over to the counter that held her purse and pulled out her wallet, toying with they money.

I got up and put clothes on, my button up buttoned wrong and my tie messed up, and walked over to her putting my arms around her, kissing her neck softly, as if I were married to her for years and still treasured her as if I had still just met her. But it's always fake, the only one I would kiss like that and mean it would be Toby, my one and only love. She pulled out a couple hundreds from her wallet, almost handing them to me, when I reached out for them she pulled back "kiss first" I was annoyed but I put a silly smile on my face "How could I forget?" pulled her close and regretfully kissed her.

She smiled slyly and handed me my money, I smiled back and grabbed my stuff "I must be off, I have business to take care of" I spoke mysteriously so no one ever questioned what I went off to do. As I exited the building I felt a pair of eyes on me must be Danny again, always fallowing me but when I turned around, the face I thought I'd see wasn't there, it was a face I was hoping I wouldn't see, I wasn't careful enough and now they saw me, messed up tie, messed up shirt, sloppy hair, tired look in my eyes.

"How dare you, Raiden, I thought you loved me!" I felt a slap and I fell to the ground, I reached out to grab who had slapped me "Toby NO!" I couldn't stop him and he ran out into the street I saw head lights approach "TOBY!" I could hear him shriek my name to come and save him before I heard the squealing of the tires and a thump, fallowed by another thump, then I saw it, his body lying there bloody, one of his arms bent in a way it isn't suppose to bend. His face looked as peaceful as an angels, he laid there, I got up and ran to him "TOBY NO" I shouted. I looked him over frantically finally landing my eyes on his chest, although he was on his side I could still see clearly as day, a small rhythmic movement.