Can't do it

Chapter 21

      Sorry for the really big jumps... I guess I'm just a lazy writer buuuuuut there is a possibility I might, just MIGHT, be getting it published... >.< so excited. 
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    Over the years I grew close to Jackson mostly because of music, he never did want to learn the piano but he had a lot of talent for the guitar. He played in a talent show and won second place with his electric guitar, who won first? That would be his sister who could play frickin beethoven at age 10 on the piano, better than her 15 year old brother on the guitar, that girl is amazing. It's crazy what five years will bring, Now my little girl is 11 and my little guy is 16. I got married around 20 years old to my soulmate, our little flower girl wore a purple and gold coloured dress and our ring bear wore a tux like is amazing father, the cool one that is. Toby looked amazing, and by amazing I mean like a complete dork. He wore a dress to the wedding which was probably the highlight of the wedding because I couldn't stop laughing. 

     It was like when he wore a dress to prom, it started out as a dare from one of the girls we hung out with and I even joked around but he actually wore a dress to prom and a little wig and even some make up, he looked like a fricken hot woman but I was happier when he changed into his jammies at my place about 2 hours into prom. We had decided to ditch and watch movies at home since we were alone we even go to play with water guns in the house... I was grounded and had to clean up all the water after because we had forgot. 

      Jackson now at 16 had a girlfriend that he met last year at the talent show, she wanted to meet Emily and compliment her talent, but ended up talking to Jackson. A few months later they started dating and soon they will have been together for a whole year, they're so cute sometimes I hear Toby whisper I can't even when they're being cute. Emily happened to know that she liked girls since she was young, at the moment she has a giant crush on a popular girl at her school, but no one knows except us, her wonderful weird family.    

    We had gotten a huge house now and I'm a publisher and writer, and I published the book about the one girl. I couldn't think of what to do with her in the end so I just ended up killing her off after she helped someone who was going to start a shooting, and then she saved another person from suicide before she got stabbed by someone who just wanted her money, while her life flashed before her eyes she regretted so much of her life, then she just died.

    Not many people liked the ending and decided to write their own ending for it. I didn't mind, I got to read a lot of the people's different endings for it and put comments to help boost their self esteem because they seemed to all put "I'm sorry if it isn't as amazing as Raiden's book but this is my version of the ending." It kind of made me happy they wanted a different ending. I didn't work at the restaurant anymore but Toby took up part time there and became a reading teacher. I thought it suit him well, and when Jackson wanted to start working he took up part time there. We told him if his grades dropped he would have to quit and he got A's and B's. 

    Emily really hit it off in music and sometimes would get to play with some professional opera people. Toby knows more about that than I ever could. Emily caught notice one day to my wrist while I was playing the guitar with her piano and she asked about it. I told her what they were and why they were there, then I told her if I ever happened to see these kinds of anything on her at all I'd get to hit her upside the head and ground her till she was dead and then some. Of course I said the same thing to Jackson when he started going through a dark time.  

    Me and Toby tried to not let it get too bad for them, in fact we think we've been pretty good parents. At the moment I'm making my son watch american horror story with me "dad no stop, it isn't eve horror, it's just demented." he says as I sat on him "son No. Stop. Shuttup. Watch" we get comfortable until Toby sat on me which made Jackson start giggling like a fool. "Can't.....breath.." he giggled in between struggling trying to say a sentence I turned to him "Hm? What's that? You can't breath?" his face got a little red but he smiled and nodded "I'll get off if you promise to watch this entire season with me." I say and he nods in agreement quickly and I pick up Toby who was a giggling mess and brought him to the other couch.

     We cuddle up and Toby fell asleep rather fast while me and Jackson watched practically half of the whole season until maybe 4 in the morning "oh man, You have school today don't you?" I say turning the Tv off and he nods "Ah screw it, stay home but out of sight till noon. Toby goes into work by then" I say picking him up and carrying him over to the hallway "Where will you be?" he asks "Work" I call over my shoulder before entering my room completely, shutting the door, and placing Toby on his side of the bed. I changed out of my clothes into just a shirt and boxers before getting into bed next to my love. 

     The next morning I drove to work and something felt.... well something felt off. I couldn't place what it was but I shrugged it off as nothing. As usual I got ready for work, and then went into the kitchen to write a note for Toby before eating some eggs. I went in and kissed Emily on her forehead and then kissed Jackson's forehead. I went back to my room to kiss Toby on his cheek and next to his eye "I love you" I whispered before leaving for work. As I drove I thought about how far I've come in my life thanks to the hard times I had to go through, and how lucky I was to get through them to be able to meet Toby who helped me more after.

      He got me to stop cutting by saying that everytime I cut He would cry, It got me to slowly stop. When I made it into a secret again he kissed my every scar after he found out, he realized his first attempt of making me stop was dumb and he should't try to change me but he'll accept me for who I was. It made me not want to anymore, and with that I ended up cutting back on smoking too.  

       Our wedding was my favorite time of my life, other than getting our kids, and of course meeting Toby. I loved visiting my dad's and Danny. Which Danny has a boyfriend of 3 years and a baby on the way! I was so happy and told the guy he better marry my sister or I'll kill him. I cleared my thoughts and drove to Shawn's and Derek's to visit for a bit. "I feel like something is going to happen or something is off but I don't know what it is...." I say to Danny while Shawn is making cookies and Derek is trying to find a channel to watch. 

      Danny puts her hand on my hand which is currently on her baby's belly,  I was trying to feel it kick. I felt it kick and I gasped and looked at Danny. She was such a beautiful woman now, Her thick wavy auburn hair was down to her breasts and she wore light makeup now. She didn't get rid of her punk clothes but did put them away for after having her baby, she just hoped she would fit in them. Her baby was actually going to be a girl so we are hoping to raise her to be a punk. I'm of course planning on helping. Her light eyes looked into my dark ones "Something bad is going to happens soon, that's what it usually means anyway"