Can't do it

Chapter 17 oh well

"This is a story of a girl, who used to be in love, and wouldn't let anyone or anything get in her way of what she liked or who she was. It all changed when she moved in with her mother, away from her father who could handle her being a delinquent. Before the move she wanted to be a singer, she dressed up girly, liked boys, and her grades...could have been better to say the least. She read all the time, books were her favorite escape from this hell reality, But when she got grounded she wasn't allowed to read books at all. Yeah, you heard me right, she was grounded from books, but that's not all.

       She had to clean her living room, both bathrooms, dog poop. kitchen, dining room, her room, her brother's room, and fold and put away all the laundry she did. She almost never was helped, and when she was grounded she wasn't allowed Tv or music, so she did her job slower because she didn't have any background noise. She thought of death all the time. While her brother had this amazing life she was in hell, He had everything! An Ipad, phone, xbox, xbox 360, flat screen Tv in his room, a radio, perfect grades, nice attitude. Everything including her father's love which she tried so hard to get him to be proud but with every attempt she failed, so soon she gave up. 

     While her home life sucked, so did her school life, A boy she thought she liked kept using her body to satisfy himself and then even used her best friend. She called that girl her best friend even though she hated her sometimes, stabbing her in the back consonantly then begged for forgiveness, which the girl gratefully gave, she did every thing to keep that girl in her life and three others.  Though the girl feels that it was a mistake keeping ties like that. The tree other girls seemed to have forgotten her as she moved away. Along with her other friends. She tries to keep the girl she called her best friend happy from a distance when she goes through a hard time. Although her life sucked she knew the other girl had it way worse. 

     After the move the girl because a little bit more depressed but didn't let it show. She was with her loving mother whom she adored and her two more annoying little brothers and her cool stepdad. Her older brother didn't seem to like her much so she kept her distance. She was a needy girl so she instantly found someone who used her again. She felt she was a whore. She hated herself so much she couldn't stand it, but she still continued. She met a nice boy, but she left him worried she'd hurt them, but right after she was with someone else. This someone else soon because known as the one who broke her. She was with him for 7 months before he left her saying that she was stressful.

      Soon after she cut all her long hair off to make it look like a boy's which was a bad idea with how curly her hair was, she she straightened it everyday. Dying it a lot of colors, soon she was to dye it black because one of her colors looked like crap because she didn't have the money to buy more die to fix it up. Not only her hair changed but she wore more guy clothes, stealing her guy friends hoodies and getting her older brothers old shirts. She wore some girly things but not often at school, worried what people will think of her. She listens to weird music and laughes a lot but often at the wrong time. This all happened after the huge breakup that happened with the boy who came to be known as the one who broke her. She cried for weeks and wasn't over it even after a year.

     During the year she tried to fix herself she tried datin again. She was used again for her body, didn't want to drag them into her depressing life. It happened 3 times before she knew she'd be better off alone no matter how much she hurt herself over feeling lonely or hurt herself because she thought she deserved it. She would stay alone. Although people had said they liked her and she said she liked them, she couldn't bring herself to date anyone. ' I can't hurt anyone anymore' was always her excuse. People who wanted to use her only brought memories of the boy she let touch her because she thought he loved her. He used her. Soon she hated being touched at all, remembering her cousin who touched her inappropriately. She told a week after it happened, but no one believed her. They sent her to many therapists, her main reason she hates them even now.