My One And Only

Things About Us...

OKAY. Now I have to live alone again, the lads start their american tour; here we go again, my lonely nights, lonely days, lonely night. Hmm... at least when he is in states, we pretty much have same timing, it's cheaper for me to call him, and lots of other things that makes it easier to comunicate, except the super busy schedule he has. Ahrgg... that is great for them and suck for me. And one thing that I hate, he has lots of girls around him now, everyone loves them. The only thing that I can't handle is the jealousy inside my heart when girls are around him and ahh... I don't know, it seems that everything is getting harder and harder.

"Hey, you know, I just talk to Louis, he tried to call you, but you didn't pick up the phone, what's going on with you?" it's Aaron, he comes to do some homework.

"I don't have my phone with me, and I don't feel like talking to people, I put it on silence...", "Thank God I have the key to get here, if not, I'll be waiting outside your door... Are you okay? He is worried too, I think you should call him..." he says, I want to, but I'm so lazy, I just wanna lie down and not moving. He walks to my room and get my mobile. He walks back, calls Louis and is giving me the phone now. I really don't feel like interacting with anyone.

Hello, little one! Where have you been? I called so many times, you worried me...

"I'm sorry, Lou... I didn't have my phone, and I'm just too lazy to have conversation with anyone..."

Including me? What about Niall? And Aaron, he is there, right? He told me that he was about to go to your place...

"Yes, he is here... you, Niall, Aaron, just everyone..."

What is going on with you? Are you okay? You don't seem okay...

"Nothing, I'm fine... I can't talk on the phone, will tell you when I see you..."

Really? You're not gonna tell me now? What's wrong, seriously little one, you make everyone worried now...

"Hmm... I just can't... don't worry, Lou... just enjoy the tour, I'll be fine, I'm just in my girl mood..."

Are you sure? If you need anything, call me, if you find it hard to talk to me, talk to Aaron.. I don't want you to think too much, okay?

"Yes, my brother, I'll be fine... I'll talk to you taler... I love you..." Love you sissy! Take care!

I hang up, and just leave my mobile on the floor, it is too far to reach the table. Aaron comes to me, sits on the floor and lean back on the couch. He is not saying anything, but watch TV with me. Five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes, twenty minutes. There is no conversation at all, we just watch this movies, we are just watching X-Men. He walks to the kitchen and comes back after awhile. He made tea for me, that's why he went to the kitchen. He's back to his previous position, and continue watching the movie.

Almost at the end of the movie, he takes the tv remote and turn it off. "Okay, so what is going on with you? You know you can't lie to us? You can't hide it for us, we know, you change 180 degree while you are not okay..." he says, he is now sitting on the couch, he lifts my upper body, and put my upper body back down, my head is on top of his lap, just because I'm too lazy to do anything, even moving.

"Is it about Niall?" he asks, "Or about school?" he's guessing, "Or the assessment?" he guesses again. I don't know where should I start, and how should I explain it, it's like there is no word to describe what I feel right now, I'm just so confused, and I hate this feeling. I know that I have to share this feeling, at least someone can help me, but the other part of me, I don't want anyone to know what is going on in my head as well, very complicated feeling, too complicated to tell anyone!!

"Are you seriously gonna keep it to yourself and not telling anyone? You know this is not gonna work with you, hiding things..." he says again, I can't hide anything from them, those people know me too well, sometimes it's creepy that they know me more than I understand myself.

"I really wanna tell someone, but I just don't think I'm able too, this is complicated...", "Claudia, my little one, you know if you want to say it, say it, if you want to keep it, keep it... if you want to cry, you can cry on me... if you're  afraid to go to bed by yourself, I'll stay with you; for me, you are a sister that I've never had, I've always wanted to have little sister, so I can protect her, take care of her, and now I have one, it's you, I'll protect you and I will take care of you, you don't have to worry, I will not falling in love with you, that's gonna be incest relationship..." he laughs at his last sentence, incest relationship. Hahaha... he is such a great brother, he can be a mature brother and can be a childish one, exactly like Louis. I know for sure  now that I'm not gonna in love with him, the thing is, I don't want to rely too much to people around me.

"You have 30 seconds to make up your mind, but I suggest you have to tell me everything..." he adds again, 30 seconds, that's not enough to make up my mind, too short, far too short.

30 seconds gone...

"Okay, I don't know why, but since Niall left, I feel more lonely then ever, and I just realise that there are tons of girls around him...", "So, our little one here is jealous and worried...", "I am, Aaron, I am... I was thinking that if something happened between us, I just want to end our relationship..."

"What!?!?!? Stop thinking about that... you and Niall are perfect for each other, you guys love each other, really, he loves you... silly girl..." I get up, and sit next to him, lean on him, "It's just that there are so many things going on in my mind...", he holds me in his arm, "It's not many things, it's one thing, it's all about Niall, just Niall... Don't worry, you two will be fine... just don't think too much, go to bed now... we'll do the assessment later..."

"Are you sure?", "Yeah, sure, and I'm doing it with you, like the chosen one, so we will be fine..." he smiles. and walk me to the bedroom, and wait for me till I feel asleep.

***

Two weeks, we've been talking on the phone, but it seems that it's soooo longggg. The boys been so busy with everything, rehearsal, interview, signing, and lots of other things, they're busy all the time. I heard they're are partying tonight, because they finish their concert in Boston, before moving to other places.

Hey, Claudia, have you look at the news? It's about Niall, it's everywhere...

It's Taylor, why did she call me in the middle of the night, and news about Niall, that is doesn't make sense. "What is it, Taylor? Good news or bad news?" I ask, because I have no idea what is it, I never stalk my boyfriend, and google him, and watch everything he does.

It's not a good news, pretty bad, actually, the paparazzi, they caught Niall made out with a girl, last night! Google it!

"What!? Is this for real? He is not able to cheat on me!" I turn on my laptop and literally type his name on google, trying to figure out what's happening last night. And there are so many pictures of Niall, and this girl, I don't know her, never seen her before, they made out, the pictures were from so many different angles. WTF is this now???

That is real! I don't know what's going on, but it seems that you guys need to talk, you have to call him, and ask... don't wait till he calls, gonna be too late, and you're too angry to talk to him..

"I know, I will call him, but I don't know what I have to say...", Ask him first, okay, I will let you talk to him, let me know if you need anything..., "Thanks, Taylor, you can go to bed, it will take time for us to talk now! Good night!" Goodnight, darl! I'll see you monday... good luck and everything will be okay... take care, little one! "Thanks, again, Taylor, I will! see you on monday!"

***