My One And Only

What About Now?

Whoahhh... It's been so depressing. I have to accept it anyway. The fact that I hate long distance relationship, still can't make me accept Claudia's decision. It's been two weeks already, and I can't get over it. I don't wanna believe it, but that's the tragic truth. I hope she could find someone else that can be with next to her, and I also hope that I could fall in love with another girl, as much as I loved her. We haven't contacted each other for two weeks long. I guess I don't wanna hear anything, because I'm still hurting, and also I don't want to be invloved in any kind of feeling with her, at least not now. I don't think I can handle it.

"Lads, look at this, this is fashion magazine, and guess who is inside?" Zayn asked. I grabbed the magazine and open it. Shit! It's Claudia and Simon. What the heck!? He told us that he is a model, but never know that they took picture together, and it's commercial for a magaziine, and she looks dashing.

"When did it happened? She didn't even tell me about this..." Louis said, she didn't tell anyone. And I bet, the rumor will come out, Niall's ex-girlfriend, already got another boyfriend, a model, Simon ZZZ. I know that isn't true, but the media look at this as a big news.

"Maybe it's because he helped her, and he asked for help, and she couldn't deny it, and just doing it for thank you thingy..." Liam tried to make us understand the circumstances. It could be that. She was helping them because she was too nice, to everyone.

"God, she looks so cute here, look at that smile..." Harry added to our conversation, I should have asked her to stay. Because, even that I'm not with her anymore, I still get jealous, especially she looks happy with Simon. Not sure whether it's true or not, but if you take a look at the picture, it is obvious that they're in love, and they're having sweet intimate relationship.

"Harry, don't make it worse..." Louis said.

"I don't care, she can do whatever she wants to do..." I am actually so annoyed, "You will find a new girlfriend..." Zayn told me, I know I will, just because I can, "Even she is not Claudia, she could love you as much as Claudia did, or even more... you wil be happy, bro!" Zayn adedd again.

"I'll give her a call..." Louis said, and yep, he did, and he put it on speaker, I really don't wanna hear her voice, but I want to know her respond. It's complicated!

Hey, Louis!? It's Aaron, she is making me food, what's up?

"Hey! Umm... okay, by the way, do you know anything about the pictures? On the magazine?" he asked Aaron. That is better than listen to her voice, but we still can get answers.

Um... I don't really know, but she said just to pay Simon for helping her... she's been crying these past few days... That's why I'm here, a bit worried, she didn't eat, didn't sleep well, and kinda lost in herself sometimes, we've been trying to talk to her so many times, but she pretty much closed her door to everyone... I am the only one who can come in, to be honest. I still can't get through her mind. Okay, she's here, talk to her...

So, I'm not the only one who's hurting, even she hurts herself by her own decision. I don't understand how everything works, but it seems, no matter what is her decision, it's gonna hurt both of us. First, if we are still in relationship, it's still gonna be a long distance relationship, and the unhealthy one, because we kinda can't handle LDR, and just one of us, soon or later will cheat, it's not really cheat, but you know, it happened before, her with Enrique, and me with Laura, it's gonna hurt one of us more. Second, if we break up, which is our condition now, we still hurt each other, because deep down, we still are in love, we still have the loving feeling; knowing the fact that we can't be together, it's just so frustating. I don't know which one is better, I don't know which one to choose.

"Hey beautiful... how's your day? Aaron told me something, are you okay? And I saw you on the magazine, you look great... So what's the story behind the picture?" he asked.

Hey, Lou... it wasn't that bad... what about you? The lads? and Niall?, she asked, Is he okay?

"You know you guys are not together? We are good, I think he's holding up pretty well... I heard you are not... and tell me about the picture!"

It was a hard decision, I have to, I don't wanna do a long distance relationship, if we meet again, and we are still single, I wanna be with him forever, haha... I'm pathetic, aren't I? I was the one who broke up with him, but I cry all day... and the picture, I was just helping him, because he asked me a favor, don't worry, not interested in any kind of relationship, although he is kinda cute, I still love Niall and don't wanna hurt him. she kinda explain everything, her feeling, that's the one that make me kinda glad, there is chance that we can get back together, I don't wanna lose her as girlfriend and as best friend too. hopefully, we can make it till the time we meet again, normally, which mean when we don't have to do any of long distance relationship.

"Hmm... I don't wanna comment on anything, you are my sister, and Niall is one of my best friends, but you are not pathetic, you're just a liar, to yourself mostly... I don't wanna hear from anyone that you cry again..." he said, he is not the only one who doesn't wanna see her cry, I don't wanna see her cry, I don't want to hear see cry, especially about our relationship.

Just don't tell Niall about it, he already has too much things to do, to worried and to stressed out. I don't want him to be sad... Lou, thanks for calling... I love you, I'll see you when you come here...

"Don't worry, babe... I won't tell him..." he said, but everyone is listening now, so it's not a secret, It's good to know that she is still thinking of me and worried about me, "I love you too... now you have to eat, and sleep... I don't want you to get sick, I'll see you soon! Bye..." Bye...

And she hang up on Louis. I heard everything, I heard her heart, I know what does she want. The only thing I'm afraid and worried of is when she falls in love with someone else, then the end of the story will change, what if I'm the one who fall in love when she's waiting for me? There will be a lot of 'what if', it's just too many things that can affect the end of our love story. I just don't want our relationship and friendship end like this. I want her back so badly.