My One And Only

Me Time... :'(

Ahhhh... that was so hard, so hard, and this is my escape, I always runaway, always, I feel like I'm gonna go back to L.A. now, I can't face everyone right now, I can't be at the same place with any of them right now, I've been hurting Niall too much, and I've been annoyed the lads too much, really, like they have to take care of this, and they have to deal with my things. I think they are sick of it, I just can't see them right now.

"You know, I've been watching you the whole time, while I'm playing volley, I can't concentrate, because you are so beautiful, but you are crying the whole time..." what the, where is this guy come from. I really don't want to talk to anyone right now, just go before I kick his ass.

"Sorry, stranger, I don't really want to talk to anyone right now, especially a random guy..." this guy is not listening but sit next to me without permittion. So, yeah, I am just sitting on the beach the whole time, watching people around me.

"You are British, it's just better, I'm not random, I'm Simon, a model, based in New York, but i'm moving to LA soon, I'm 23 years old, I love basketball and surfing, I'm learning to play guitar, and you know the best part is I'm half Scotish..." he said, he introduced himself without I ask him, "Tell me about yourself..."

"I don't want to, if you excused me, I'm leaving now, it's too dangerous here...", "It's not dangerous, even if it's dangerous, I will protect you... tell me what is it?"

"You are the dangerous one... what is it, what do you mean?", "I'm not dangerous, I'm a good person... why are you crying?"

"See, look at you, what kind of guy comes to a girl that he doesn't even know, and talk condidently, like he is better than anyone else..."

"That's me, I'm confident, and the only reason why I came here is because of you, you can ask my friends, we lost the game beacuse I can't take my eyes off of you... like seriously... So, I figured that I have to say 'hi', give me chance or at least name..." he said again, oh God, this Simon guy is so annoying and disturbing. I'm just gonna leave now, I don't care. I stand up, "Bye, Simon..." and just leave, I don't wanna deal with guy, especially when I just broke up with Niall, and I'm the one who broke up with him, I still love him.

"Claudia..." what? how does he know my name? This is is creepy, he totally freaked me out. I'm running away from him. "Hey, it's written in your book, you're a song writter? And a singer? By the way, Claudia is a beautiful name..." This is sick, just please go away. "Simon, what do you want from me? You got my name, right? So, leave me alone, I really not in the mood for talking to anyone..."

"Okay, I'm not talking, it's just quite dangerous for a girl like you to walk around, bad guys will come around, so it's better I walk with you... And, for 'what do you want from me' things, I want you to come with me, to my photoshoot in an hour... I want you to take picture with me, just here, on the beach..." he explained, I don't wanna involve in any of this, don't wanna attached with him, this Simon guy is a bit out of his mind, okay, to be honest, he is good looking, I'm just not interested in any guy.

"Why do I have to do that and go with you?", "Because you are so attractive, you have that beautiful look, and I like you, even you were crying, you look beautiful and I like you, even when you cried..."

"Simon, listen to me, I don't wanna talk to any guy right now, I just broke up with my boyfriend, I broke up with him, I'm the one who broke up with him, so I don't want anyone to see me hanging out with other guy, especially if paparazzi find out..." I want people to know that Niall and I are no longer together, so that is good for both of us, but I don't want they publish bad news between us, like cheating, revenge, and lots of other things. If they want to publish things, just publish that we are broke up without any other shit. You know what I mean.

"I'm just a model, so there is not much of them around me...", "Simon, you don't understand, you don't know my ex-boyfriend... do you know One Direction? Niall Horan was my boyfriend..."

"Are you freaking kidding me!? But, please, I beg you, I really thought you can be my good partner for this photoshoot... It's a request... you will get paid... I promise that, and you will be credited... I'm begging now... It's better to do something else than crying over your decision, it's already done... I'm gonna make you feel better..." he said, on the other hand, he is right, what is done is done, and I'm not planning on changing my mind, and I don't want to cry over this, because I'm the one who said, we're done, we're finish and let's break up. I think I'm gonna take this chance, and it's just one time thingy, and we're not gonna be attached, it's just photoshoot, trying to make meself feel better.

***

So, this photoshoot is for a fashion brand, so yeah, that's it. Just one photoshoot and no more. At least, this is a bit of fun things to do, he pretty much helps me gets through my rough day. I don't believe this is happening, but then he made me doing an activity that doesn't want to make me cry, surrounded by different people with different energy. Even if I can't really smile right now, I'm not crying. It's actually a good thing to be with him, I don't know why, he kinda fix my heart. I know this is not right, and I promise to meself, it's just one time thing, and I'm not gonna in contact with him, I want to be alone, just me, meself and I, I'm gonna be okay without boys in melife; besides, I have some guys in melife, I have Louis, Aaron, Zayn, Liam, Harry, Niall, Bradley, Enrique. They are the best thing in this life. I know for real that Niall and I are not in relationship anymore, but he was my very best friend, I hope after all of this, we still can be friends. If we can't be best friend anymore, the least of all, I want to be his friend.

If he wants to call me, he can call. If he wants to talk the whole night, I'll do it. If he is sick, and someone has to take care of him, I will do that. I just don't want to attached in any form of relationship, I realise how hard it was, long distance relationship, I don't wanna do anymore long distance relationship. It's hurt too much, I cry too much, we hurt each other too much, too much misundertanding, stressed too much.

I know some of you won't believe me, but half of my wings is gone, it's falling apart, I can't fly anymore. I tortured meself during the decision making and it's killing me when I talked to him. We both broken, we tore each other heart apart. I don't know what is he doing now, I hope he can handle it, and he will be fine soon.