Alone and Unwanted (No longer writing)

Month 11 Day 20

Two months. Many things can happen in two months. For me, I was free. In my sixteen years of life, I was finally free.

Today was a special day, at least for me. It was my birthday.

I turn seventeen. Yay...I think. I'm not exactly that thrilled.

For my birthday, I wanted a cake, presents, and my whole family surrounding me. Well, that obviously is not going to happen.

But I am going to have a cake. I made myself go to the store and get a little cupcake for Malena and myself. I didn't get a candle though and I blew a fake candle.

I did make a wish though. I don't know if it's okay to tell this to anybody, but it is my journal.

I wish for a different life. A life where parents don't hit their children or in my case, where a pack doesn't hit a member....

I can't believe I'm writing or saying this....but I wish I didn't have this life.

I wish I had an easier life, a better life.

I honestly don't know anymore if I want to live or not.

I only have Malena and this growing baby. That's it. I don't have anyone else.

Well, when I think about it, I do have some people.

Like Emmalee. What a sweet girl. But I don't think she was trying to look for me. At all. I think she's too caught up in her marriage plans with Koda.

And Koda. My brother. Or my fake brother. I honestly hate saying that, but it's true. I grew up with him and he would stand there when my mom would hit me. Now that I think of it, he never really did stop someone from hitting me. Where's that protective brother that everyone has?

Hmm. Is that it? I think so.

I write in this journal so I could get some of this tension off of me. I can't keep things bottled up in my system. That's just not good for anyone.

I don't know when to stop writing in this journal. Someone tell me if this is too boring. Please.

I don't want to end my life so young, so quickly. But it's what I want to do.

But where will I leave Malena? I could leave her with her dad, or with Koda, or Emmalee, or the Alphas. Someone, you know.

Who wants to be me? Honestly, I don't think there is one person out there in this world who wants to be me.

First, my real parents didn't want me. No big whoop, I still had parents. Not very good parents, but someone who fed me and kept a roof over my head.

Second, I got beaten. I don't think I'm the only one, though. There are many people out there getting abused. Just like me.

Third, I had a mate and was rejected. I don't think I'm the only werewolf who was rejected.

Fourth, I had a baby....at sixteen. Again, I'm not the only one. And I love Malena with all my heart.

Fifth, I write in a journal about my life. Ha. I laugh at this. I first got this journal when I was ten and I never used it until I was pregnant.

I wish that after I die.... that somebody finds this and publishes this. Like the Diary of Anne Frank.

I honestly doubt that that is going to happen.

But anyway, whoever sees this, congrats. You got to see the life of a girl who doesn't give a shit.

I don't know if this is the end, But I'm saying it.

The End.

There, I said it. But it doesn't feel like the end for me.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" I here from a distance.

I look up to see a man in a gray suit with a clipboard.

"Yes?" I ask.

"My boss said that he has seen you in this part of the woods for a while. Is that true?"

"Yes, sir."

"He also offers you a good job, which is his business. Would you like to take up on that offer?"

Oh. My. God.

Yes!

"Yes, sir. Yes, I will!" I said.

The man smiles and motions me to come with him. I walk with him with Malena on my side. The small bag is on my back and my journal is in my hand.

"Here we are," the man said to me.

I smiled when I saw the huge office building in front of me. Wow.

"Can I get your name?" he asked.

"Tavern Crispin."

"Great. Well, come on inside. The boss would love to see you. He's been wanting a woman in his business."

"May I ask what this business is?"

"We make new women's products like shampoo, makeup, stuff like that. You in?"

Duh. "Of course."

The man smiled and I followed him inside the building.

I was wrong. So wrong. This is not the end at all.

This is just...

The Beginning.

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What?! Okay, y'all need to tell me when to end this book but I want a lot of people to read this first. I want at least up to 100,000. If that could happen. Guys, do not be afraid to follow me. I love followers and I would love if some of my readers to follow me. And especially if you know this story by heart. Please follow me. And go check out my stories like Kiss the Frog! and Never Disobey Injuns and Madeleine. I got a good few reads on The Doctor's Mate but I want more! Please guys, do me a favor and read my stories =] Also, this chapter has some of the stuff I dealt in life. I used to be like Tavern, thinking like that. But not anymore =]

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