Until Dawn (Josh x OC)

Chapter 33: The Return.

"What josh?" I asked him with a sigh, feeling extremely fed up.
"I-I am sorry." He stuttered as he got up from the bed to walk up to me, he was stumbling constantly.
"You had me worried sick, you have been gone for hours and now you come back completely drunk." I shouted angrily.
"I drank because you told me to leave." He said loudly.

I leant over the kitchen counter, trying to avoid eye contact with him, as I sighed trying to control my emotions again. "I cooked you some food, just incase you didn't eat..its over there." I said effortlessly, from stress.
"Thank you babe." He slurred loudly. Josh's cold hand alerted me as I felt him grip onto my butt.

"Come on josh.." I said feeling uncomfortable, as I moved his hand away from my body.

He turned me around so I was facing him, as he just hugged me. His arms tightly wrapped around my body, squeezing me. "I don't want to let you go, baby." He said drunkenly, as he held onto me with all of his efforts.

I wanted to tell him to get off me, or to leave me alone, but I loved the feeling of his strong arms around me, I couldn't make myself say no.

"Just please explain to me why you do all of this to me? I am getting so fed up of feeling so shitty all the time, everyone always tries to upset me and now..now you are too." I said as I started to cry, on Josh's shoulder.
"I didn't mean to make you upset, I fucking care about you more than myself." He said as I felt his fingers softly caress my back.
"I can't handle your anger and your jealousy anymore josh. Can't you see that you are the only one I love? It hurts me to understand that you think so little of me, that 'I want to be with any nearest attractive guy', that's how you think of me."

"I just feel so insecure I kept reminding myself of what you said to me, hoping it was true but I felt like everything was a fucking lie." He slurred.

I let go of his hug, so I was able to talk to him properly, "what did I say?"
"That you were mine..but I didn't believe you."
"Why?" I said confusedly.
"Because I just don't..I could never believe that anybody actually loved me for me..especially you of all people."

He tried to hold my hand whilst speaking, as he lost balance multiple times. I grabbed his hand as I walked him to the bed, "sit down, I don't want you falling over." I said feeling worried for him.

Josh cleared his throat almost as if he was ready to do a speech, "Lauren, you made me feel like I was actually worth something. You know my past and I don't think I would have a future right now..if it wasn't for you."

"I am sorry if you think I am being an overprotective dick, but that's only because I love you so fucking much. The idea of me losing you, makes me feel so psychically weak and afraid. I need you in my life, or my life simply couldn't carry on. I really hate myself, and I fucking hate myself more for making my baby girl cry. I hate seeing you upset and knowing that I had done this to you, it..it just makes me feel so broken inside." He said as he started to get upset.

"I clearly can't address my emotions in the right way at all, and I apologise for that, but I feel like I need this to leave my system to show you how much I care about you. If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't be jealous at all..but I am. I swear to fucking god that I won't treat you like this anymore, I have got to get over my insecurities really.." He slurred as he ran a finger through his hair.
"You do, because I don't think I could handle all of this every time I speak to a new guy. What you don't understand is that I have fallen in love with you..only you. I still feel so lucky that you are in a relationship with me, because the majority of you I can't help but find perfect. I don't see any potential or attractiveness in any other guy I meet because you are the only person I have in my sights, josh." I said quickly, trying to get it all of my chest.