Back To Black

Invisible

I promised myself the day I left this place, I would never look back, but there was something about my childhood here. There were so many questions that went unanswered, so many emotions. I had an emotional tie to this that made it impossible not to look back.

Turning off the car, I took out the keys, allowing them to sit in my lap. My body had a mind of its own, I kept telling myself to go home, but unconsciously, I got out of the car and headed up to the door. It was like I wasn't in control of my own body.

The coldness of the night kept hitting my face, causing my hair to blow back and I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to stay warm. Silently, I walked up toward the door and stopped.

I took in the building, the smell in the air, the feeling of pain that nestled in my stomach. Everything about this situation screamed uneasy, but for some reason, I couldn't turn away.

Looking to the left, there was no sighn of life, just a road that went on for miles, but eventually had an end. Turning my head to the right, there was no one there. I was alone, no one to see my unthinkable crimes, it was just me and the people who tracked my phone like clock work, who would know of my foolish crimes.

I stared at the door for another second, preparing myself for all the emotions, all the memories that would come back, flooding my mind, the moment I stepped through that door. If this all goes badly, I'll end up like a car, overheating.

Figuring no one could see me, I headed over to the small bush, just beside the front steps. Taking a deep breath, I nervously, lifted up my hand, piercing straight through the heart of the bush.

Feeling around, I could feel the branches as they entangled my hand like a trap. The leaves rustled along my arm, enclosing it into its trap. I scrapped my hand feeling around for the key on the branch my parents would keep cut to hold the key and then I felt it, the hard cold metal. My fingers pressed on both sides of the key, slowly pulling it out.

Placing the key in the palm of my other hand, I stared at it. My initials were carved into the flat bow. I managed a slight laugh. "Childhood memories, huh?"

I headed to the back door of the house. The cold hitting my face, causing a numbness to fall upon my cheeks. My mind kept telling my body to stop and go home, but my feet never got the memo, they just kept walking, traveling like this was all just in the norm.

As quietly as I could, I opened the glass door, which my parents always leave unlocked because of emergency purposes. Sliding the key into the lock, I listen to the scrapping of the metal. The sound of the key turning was all too familiar.

Once the door was unlocked, I nervously place my hand on the knob. My palms were clamy and sweat began to form on my forehead. The rythmn of my heart sky rocketed, quickly and the sweat from my hands rubbed off onto the metal of the knob and I watched it drip.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly turned the knob of the door. Waiting a moment, I take a second to stare at my feet as the rapidness of my pulse froze me in time. It was like the whole world was moving at the speed of light and it was just me and this door, frozen in the time of slow motion.

Closing my eyes, I opened and closed my hand, tightening and loosening my grip against the now, wet, knob. I shook my other hand, trying to loosen it up, from being clamy and slowly, I pushed the door open with much force. Immediately, I gasped.

Darkness of the night swallowed the home, making it difficult for my eyes to adjust. Blindly, I stepped into the house, my feet sounding off against the hardwood floor. Closing the door behind me, I turned my head toward the light switch on the wall. Walking towards it, I hesitated before flipping the switch.