A Poisoned Mind

Chapter forty five

As she looked at me in the eye, I stared back, but she smiled as did I “do you want me to take my trousers off?” She asked me softly by whispering, as she stroked my cheek, but I smiled “please,” I whispered as I kissed her lips, as I felt her slide her trousers off “thank you,” I whispered on to her lips, as she smiled, before I placed my lips back on to hers. I then started to kiss back down her body again, as I heard her moan with the pleasure quietly, as I got to her waist I looked up at her, as she was laid flat with her eyes shut and mouth open, but then I noticed we were on the edge of the bed... It’d be more comfortable on the whole bed “baby... Shuffle yourself on to the other side of the bed and lay down,” I whispered to her as she done exactly that. I had told her to go on the furthest side of the bed (closet to the window) as all the bags were on the other side of the bed, but the side of the room next to the window was dark and would bring out most of the sexual heat between us. Just then it clicked in to my head... She is actually allowing me to do what I want with her body, she must be coming out of her shell! I kneeled at the bottom of her feet, before laying in between her legs, which allowed me to lay over her, she looked deep in to my eyes as I did so and I couldn’t help, but notice the beauty she had in her eyes, they sparkled even though the room was dark, and this sparkle was almost telling me that she wanted me to do this. I winked at her causing her to smile, just before I placed my lips back on to hers again, but making it passionate, then I broke off from her lips and trailed down to her neck, before I moved on to her chest, but her top was in the way “take your top off baby,” I whispered to her, as she did so, but as she dropped it on the side of us – so that her top was on the floor – I smiled at her, before kissing down her body, but I just done exactly what I did last time. As we were both under the covers, I sneaked my way backwards (under the covers), so that my head was just over her parted legs “Ast... What you gonna do?” She asked me quietly as she looked down “you’ll see baby,” I winked, before I placed my head further down, before placing my tongue on to her “oh shit,” (Your name) gasped, at the sudden pleasure as I worked my tongue “mm, Aston!” She called out, as I smiled, but continued my work.

About five minutes later I pulled my tongue away from her and moved up so that I was above her “mm tasty,” I winked, before placing my lips down on to hers, but she giggled in to the kiss making me pull away smiling. “What?” I asked at her sudden giggle “sorry, just what you said and how you said it,” she laughed, but I chuckled at her easy amusement, but after a few more seconds she calmed down allow me to go kiss her again, but she placed her index finger on to my lips “your turn,” She winked, as I looked at her wide eyed, but I refused “no babe... I don’t wanna make it seem...” But I couldn’t continue; she had rolled me over, but only by the slightest “at least give me a chance... I mean... It’ll be my first time AND I wanna just try it,” she said quietly making me smile. For her to actually say she wanted to give it a try was grateful, but it was risky... I didn’t want her putting herself off it “only if you are sure...” She interrupted me again, by placing her lips lovingly on to mine “I know I’m sure,” she whispered on to my lips, making me smile “wait, let me sit up,” I whispered as I sat on the pillow, with my back propped up against the headboard “comfy?” She asked, as I smiled “uh ah,” I whispered back, but before she placed her lips on to mine, I winked as I placed my left hand on to the right side of her neck, the other hand helping me to prop up, but soon afterwards she started to try and undo my belt, as I moved my lips down to her neck; I could feel her tucking at my belt “want help?” I asked her, as she sighed with frustration and sat back “whoa! What’s up?” I asked her, as I could tell she was frustrated with herself “I don’t feel sexy enough to do this,” she sighed, as she covered up her face with her hands “hey, hey! Don’t kick yourself for it,” I whispered to her as I tried to pull her hands away from her face, but she wouldn’t have it “why don’t you feel like that?” I asked her quietly as I kissed the top of her head “I’m pretty sure you have had some supermodel girl, have sex with you and suck you off, but then there’s me... Like... Some ordinary London girl, who can’t even get your belt undone, to even do that... I’m terrible Aston... I’m terrible,” she said desperately, with frustration getting herself worked up “hey, hey! Calm down,” I told her softly and gently as I pulled her in to a hug, as she started crying with angry tears, as her head was placed on to my chest “it’s your first time doing such a thing, and to be honest, I’m pretty surprised you wanted to do this, I’m not expecting you to get it perfect...” “But...” “Shh, no buts... I’m not expecting you to get it perfect... Yeah I may have had... Some girls... Do that to me... before, but trust me you are just as good as them, better even!” I told her, to support her, but then she sat up and looked at me, with angry tears still running down her face “let me wipe these tears away,” I whispered to her, as I rubbed them away with my thumbs, as I did so she had hold of my right hand and held it gently “but Ast...” She said quietly, as she started to calm down, but she was more upset then frustrated “I can’t get it right... I never can... I’m just, useless and pathetic... I can’t give you the satisfaction them supermodels gave you... I... I’m just terrible, I can’t...” she whispered so close to tears “seem to make you happy or anything... I try and try, but it never works... Maybe you were right,” she whispered scared and sad tears rolling slowly down her face, her left eye breaking the mould first. “What’d you mean?” I asked her quietly, trying to be supportive for her “I’m nothing to you...” “Oi! Don’t you dare ever say that...” “But...” “Shh... You are so much more to me than anything... I don’t care if you can or can’t get it right... I’m here to support you...” I said softly to her, but as I had hold of her hands, she shook her head and cried softly “hey... You make me the happiest man alive, I can’t bear to look at you like this, and I don’t wanna see you hurting yourself, because you’re afraid of getting it wrong... We all get everything wrong, I have made loads of mistakes in my life, but we learn from them... Baby, please don’t hurt yourself just because you can’t get my belt open, doesn’t matter...” I said quietly looking down at my belt and seeing what she had left it like, which it looked as if it hadn’t been touched “do you wanna try again?” I asked, as she cleaned herself up a little, but then I gave her a tissue, as she looked at me with red eyes “do you wanna try again or do you wanna leave it?” “I wanna try again,” she said quietly, but that made me smile. Even though we had quite a few tears and a supportive moment for about five minutes, she still wanted to continue “we don’t have to... You don’t have to have sex with me just to make me happy... I’m just happy that your here... With me,” I smiled as she smiled, but tittered quietly “I think we should leave it,” “I wanna...” She said quietly, but then broke herself off “you wanna try it?” I asked her, as she nodded gently “okay, let me make it easier for you,” I told her quietly, as I took my belt off, as she watched me, she settled all the tissues in the bin next to the bed “I’m sure you’ve never had to undo your own belt for a girl before,” she whispered disappointed with herself, but I looked at her with a soft look “look, let’s leave this...” “I wanna do it though,” she said quietly “I only said,” she added, but I shook my head “you’re upset and I don’t wanna take advantage of that,” “please...” “NO!” I accidently shouted at her, but she looked at me with a scared look “baby, I didn’t mean to shout,” I said softly afterwards, but she looked down, before moving off me and getting her trousers and top back on “baby?” I asked her for attention that she never gave, but as soon as she got her top on (after her trousers) she slipped off the side of the bed and sat on the floor, while embracing her knees, as she cried quietly on to them.

Getting off the bed, I sat down next to her “I didn’t mean to shout,” I told her quietly, but she just sat there paralyzed in her own distraught “please stop crying... I don’t wanna seem like a horrible man to you, or pressure you in to anything” I whispered to her, as I placed my arm delicately around her shoulders. Even though my knees were bent, she placed her head in between the bottom of my thighs and my stomach (where my belt would have been), although she faced inwards so she faced my stomach “I’m sorry,” she whispered as I stroked her soft hair “don’t apologize,” “I wanted to make you happy,” she whispered “and you have... You don’t need to have sex with me all the time or be dirty all the time to make me happy... Just be you, that’s all I want,” I whispered to her “come, sit on my lap,” I whispered to her, as she did even though my legs were still bent. She softly placed her head on to my right shoulder, as my arms wrapped tightly around her waist, as her right hand was placed on to my left shoulder, both of us staying quiet and allowing our minds to wonder off. It must have taken about a minute before noise from next door started; it was mumbled cries in pleasure and the springs from the bed, I was hoping (Your name) wouldn’t hear otherwise it would really set her off, although the faint cries of pleasure became louder and louder. “YES,” the girl suddenly screamed out, making (Your name) bury her head in to my neck, as we both listened to Chloe and Oritsé make love in the next room “I wish I was like her,” she suddenly said quietly “why?” I asked her back “because she makes love, when you get her ready and stuff, she doesn’t chicken out like I do,” she said quietly again, after she finished I kissed her softly, but allowed it to linger “bet I’m the worst girlfriend you ever had,” she whispered, as I felt really sad. Why does she put herself down so much? And I could answer that question myself, and I was determined (after we get back home) to knock HIM out! “I bet you wouldn’t want a future with me... Or... Or have kids or become married,” she said, but I became curious, how did she know that I wanted that with her? “How do you know about that?” I asked her quietly “JB told me,” she said quietly, as I smirked “he told me when I sitting by myself in the corner in the after party,” “what? Before you came up to me?” I asked her, as she nodded “why didn’t you tell me the things he done? Why did JB have to tell me?” I asked her, as she sighed “I just thought that, maybe you would do it,” she said quietly “what?” I asked her sternly. That comment instantly made me lose my temper! “What do the hell do you take me for?” I asked her sternly “get off me... GET OFF ME,” I screamed at her, as she shuffled herself off me as quickly as she could, and rolled herself in to a ball beside me as I stood up, but I was so pissed off with her I kicked her... In the stomach, as she yelped in pain at the action I done, but I didn’t know what took over me, but I done it again, after that I stopped, and tried to calm myself down. Just then I looked up at the ceiling with tears in my eyes... I just kicked my girlfriend so hard in the stomach, twice and now she is crying her eyes out, and in pain, but as I looked down at my girlfriend, she had blood dripping from her nose and was trying to crawl herself along the floor to get away, but she couldn’t do it, she was in so much pain that I just inflicted on her, because I was so angry... I wasn’t meant to harm her in anyway, and I didn’t wanna do it! But I did and I had no control over it... I sat on the side of the bed and cried my eyes out, as I heard her crying in pain. “Help,” she said softly, but I sat there crying even more at what she just tried to call out, then I kneeled down on the floor and crawled over to her, tears staining hard in my face as I looked at her blood dripping nose, as I crawled over to her “baby?” I whispered, but I hardly said anything... I hurt myself with what I did “I didn’t mean... I didn’t mean to do it... I’m so sorry... baby, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I whispered kissing her hand, but she continued to cry “please don’t cry, please be okay... I don’t wanna be horrible to you... I... I don’t want you to hate me, please don’t cry,” I continued to kiss her hand, but she started screaming for help “HELP ME, HELP ME,” she screamed twice, but I broke down even more “no baby, please,” I cried heavily, as I stroked her hair “please don’t leave me... I never meant it,” I cried, just then JB, Oritsé and Marvin came rushing in to our hotel room, and saw our two bodies on the floor, the guys looked shocked, but disturbed at the sight, but they must have known what has happened as they tried to take her “NO DON’T TAKE HER... NO (YOUR NAME),” I screamed as they took her away from me, but I tried to scramble to my feet as JB had bridal carried her out, but Marvin and Oritsé held me back. Just then the door shut itself, blocking me from her...

(Your name)’s POV:

You were being rushed in to hospital, as JB had carried you down the stairs of the hotel. Paparazzi were there to take the whole action, but even when you knew what Aston did was unforgivable... You still had trust in him!