A Poisoned Mind

Chapter fifty eight

“Err... No, I won’t, I’ll err... Stay here and get on with the work,” I smiled, but spoke softly “alright mate,” and with that Marvin left me, still in the meeting office... All the memoires that were in here came rushing back to me: The moment (Your name) came in here for the first time being JLS’ official backing dancer, when me and (Your name) had a make out in here, before Miles came in and ruined it all, when one of our backing dancers came in screaming that we should give (Your name) a second chance when she accidently kissed me, back at the club almost half a year ago! I’m not gonna lie, the argument me and (Your name) left me heartbroken... The way we just insulted each other, and in the end I told her everything I wish I never said, all because I was being an idiot behind her back! I wanted her back, and I wanted her back badly, but that will never happen know, I don’t know if she meant what she said, might have done, as the look on her face told a whole new line about the way she felt, and everything she said about me not being different from Miles was true... I taught myself last night, when I was laying in bed by myself that everything she said was true, but I didn’t know how to say that I’m wrong... I suppose it’ll come out of me when the time comes! I must have made her feel awful; otherwise she wouldn’t have run away! OMG, I have just remembered! She’s missing... Even though I said no to not helping, I’m gonna think where she might have gone...

Flashback:

Back at the hotel, I and (Your name) ran away to, in Derbyshire for a weekend, we were lying in bed just after, we had attempted to make love, but (Your name) chickened out. As (Your name) had fallen straight to sleep, I stayed awake, thinking about how (Your name)’s life was during the time she was dating Miles. I glanced down to see (Your name) snuggled deeply in to my body, her face buried in to my neck, as her arms were around my torso, as mine was around her waist keeping a tight grip on to her. Thinking about how her life use to be, I sighed, but as I did, I felt a soft kiss meet my neck, I looked down carefully to see (Your name) waking up, she obviously knew that I was still awake. “Hey,” she whispered “hey,” I whispered back as I kissed her temple delicately “why aren’t you sleeping?” I asked her “because you’re still awake,” she whispered “its fine honey, go back to sleep, I’m just thinking,” I whispered to her “what you thinking about?” She asked me quietly, as she started to draw circles on my chest, but I sighed before speaking “how you’re life must have been like when you were with Miles... I suppose you were relieved that you two were over,” I whispered to her as she tittered “yeah I was... But what’s making you think about that?” She asked, as her index finger started to stroke my left cheek “because... What would you do, when something got really out of control?” I asked her softly “I’d go out, for a few hours,” “where would you go?” I asked her “to the place that I always go to if something went seriously wrong or... I’d just need some time by myself,” “where’s that?” I asked her softly “it’s a forest... It’s beautiful; I’ll take you there one day... It’s just on the outskirts of London,” “what’s it called?” I asked her as I kissed her cheek “Err... The White Hart,” she whispered “isn’t that a restaurant?” I asked her “yeah, but they own a forest too,” she smiled “oh,” I whispered as I kissed her lips quickly, but as I pulled away she looked deep in to my eyes making me kiss her more passionately... But then I thought something, so I pulled away gently “if you left him to go to this forest... Why didn’t you just leave him completely?” I asked her softly “because... When I and Miles got together, he was the sweetest person, I thought I’d ever meet, you know... He’d take me out on surprise dates and get me surprise gifts, what I didn’t know was he had a gang of mates, and he’d go round to theirs and chat about nasty things once he caught me... I didn’t realize that until it was like a year and a half through the relationship, once he got me, he was still sweet until he got me in to bed... Once he knew he could have sex with me, that’s when he changed, and he changed badly, well before that, he made me do some sacrifices... I use to have a beautiful home down in Corydon, but he told me to sell that so I could live with him, being a stupid girl that I am, I sold it and moved in with him... He then said, “I have the perfect job for you, so quit your job and come with mine”... I use to be a talent director, and I loved my job, but he told me he had a better one... As soon as I moved in with him, he changed and that’s when my new job started,” she said miserably “what was that new job?” I asked her “sex slaving,” she whispered, as I looked at her “oh my baby,” I whispered as I pulled her in to a tight hug as she was so close to crying “he made you do some terrible sacrifices,” I whispered to her “you should take me to your ‘secret’ or ‘special’ place,” I whispered to her as I kissed the top of her head “I will,” she whispered back, but I kissed the top of her head again “sweet dreams darling,” I whispered to her “night Aston,” she whispered back, before we went back to the way we were, but everything she said played in my mind...

End of flashback:

She never took me to that place of hers... I still wondered if she went there, maybe she has gone there now.

I walked out of the meeting room, and took my time over to mine and the lad’s studio room, and walked in, and went straight over to the laptop. I logged on before typing in ‘The White Hart Forest’ in to Google and instantly things popped up about this forest (the forest and restaurant are made up). I wrote down where it was on a piece of paper next to me, before ripping the piece of paper and shoving it in to my pocket, as the laptop logged me out, but then I paused... Why am I doing this? Why am I trying to find out where she might be? Then it hit me... I lost the thing I need to be with most... I have lost the thing I love the most... I lost the thing that I want the most, and because she is gone... I was going to find her!

I walked out in to the car park, and over to my car, but I didn’t start the engine... I pulled out this piece of paper with the forest on it... I knew what I was going to do, and I was going to do it with passion and force, for none of this would never have happened!