Divergent No war... Yet.

Chapter 39

Wow, me? updating in time? wow. Hahah enjoy because this might not happen any time soon...

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Chapter 39

Four's POV

I am making my way to the cafeteria, a place I haven't visited in a week for fear of running into her. I went to her apartment next day to apologize and try to talk the issue out. I was standing right outside about to knock when I heard it, when I heard him.

- I love you - He had said. I could hear the thick emotion behind his words, I knew that he really felt that way about her. And I wasn't bothered by it. Because, whi wouldn't love Tris? she is selfless, brave and intelligent even though she does not see it herself, and that's the best part. She doesn't go around bragging about her amazing looks and leader position, she treats everyone equally, she lights up everyone's day with just her smile; and her laugh makes you want to follow her everywhere; her eyes drown you and leave you breathless, but you don't care, because she is everything you need to survive.

So no, I wasn't bothered by his confesion, but by hers.

- I love you too - She had said back. She said those words that once held me high, that once meant everything, that once made me the happiest man alive, but that then, they destroyed me, broke my heart into pieces. My hand was just there, an inch or two from the door, but I couldn't move, not after her confesion. Thinking that nothing could made me more miserable, I turned around and started walking away, but I wasn't fast enough - I've got no one but you.

And that made it, the cherry at the top of the ice cream. I was left completely devastated after that. I left, not wanting ti hear more and locked myself inside my apartment drowning in my misery.

And that's how I spent the first week, drinking some beer and ignoring the constant knocking on my door. Sometimes it was Zeke, other times Shauna, but mostly a crying Tris. She had begged me to talk to her, to let her in. I changed the locks so she couldn't enter, bu that wasn't enough to hold her back. The seventh day after I found her and another guy she knocked the door off its hinges. I just stared at her, not really understanding what was going on at tge moment for I had been drinking before she bursted in.

- Tobias - She breathed out, my name on her lips sento chills down ny spine, of longing and hatred. - We need to talk.

I sober up at that, because talking was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to yell, to lose control and throw things, but I just stood up from ny sprawled position on the couch and faced her.

- There's nothing to talk about - I spat, putting as much venom as possible in my voice to make her understand. But oh she was as stubborn as always. For the first time since she had entered, I took my time to really look at her. I noticed heavy bags under her bloodshot eyes, that seemed to be eternally swollen. She looked like she'd beeb crying a lot, and the thought of a sad Tris broke my heart a little more.

- Please - She said, more like begged. She tried to disguise it, but I could still hear the desperation in her voice. I would have caved then, would have grabbed her in my arms and kissed her non-sense, but the alcohol in my system had other ideas.

- NO!! - I yelled, and she flinched back at this, but at the moment I didn't care, I just wanted to cry, but I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of seeing me do that, so I just let all of my anger out, unfortunately, on her. - I want nothing to do with you!!!

- Please!!!! - She yelled too but it was cut uff by a strangling noise and a sob ripoing through her throat at the same time, a pathetic view.

- You are just another bitch, so fuck off and live me alone! - I now admit that I went a little overboard there, but it was mostly the alcohol speaking and my anger.

She had looked at me with pure horror etched out in her face. I turned around not wanting to see her face anymore, not wanting to know anything about that girl. I started walking to my room and memories of her and I laying there made their way into my head but I shook them away before they could do more damage. A soft hand grabbed me by the arm, stopping me dead in my tracks. I went along with my instincs, roughly shaking her off, but I didn't measure my strength as I sent Tris flying right to a glass vase. It shattered into a million of pieces, cutting Tris in the process.

I jus stood there, starring at the view of a bloody Tris on the floor, not believing that I actually did that. Tris got out of her daze and looked me directly in the eye.

- You are just like him - She whispered, but in the silence, it sounded like she had screamed it instead. Saying that, she stood up and quickly ran out of the door, and maybe, out of my live.

The second week, I spent it punishing myself, going to the training room, regretting everything, but mostly, thingking about her. I would lie at night on my bed, thinking about all the things I could be doing to her there. How I had taken her on the couch. I lied there thinking about her lips, teasing me when I wanted to deepen the kiss, then softly opening for me to caress her tongue with mine. I thought about how her hands pulled at my hair when a wave of pleasure attacked her, how she would shiver under me when I bit her soft spot on her throat, how she would tremble when my hands started fumbling with her bra clasp and how she would blush when I could finally take it off, admiring the view. I spent most of my nights, remembering how my touch had affected her, how a moan had escaped her lips when I massaged her breasts. But the one that stood out, that almost made me lost control, was the memory of her, screaming my name when I slowly made her mine, again and again.

I decided that those thoughts were not good for me, I also decided that I needed a distraction, so that's how I found myself here, outside the dinning room. Taking a deep breath, I burst through the doors, my eyes authomaticly searching for her. I sigh in relief when I don't see her but I know that deep inside, my heart beats in dissapointment. That soons increases when I see that Shauna and Zeke are sitting with Christina and her blond boyfriend. I ponder about sitting alone but I know that woukd drag attention towards me, a thing I don't need now. So I grab some breakfast and make my to the table.

All the conversations stop when I sit down, and I just stay there, awkwardly looking at them. The silence extends for a minute, then two, almost three, until Christina (of course, the candor) decides to break it.

- Where have you been? - She asks, her voice cautious and a guarded expression on her face.

I just shrug in response, not wanting to answer that question. I have been out of my mind.

- Tris is having a hard time - Christina adds, expecting a reaction from me but she is met with indifference. I just hum in response and this seems to anger her - I thought you would be there to support her.

I am taken by surprise at that. Me? support Tris? Isn't sge having a hard time for our break up? I can't believe she didn't tell Christina. Might as well do it myself.

- We are not together anymore - I simply say, but I feel my heart ache at the sound of those words. It is the first time I admit it out loud, and it hurts as much as I imagined it would. The whole table gasps.

- How could you!??? - Christina shrieks. Will tries to get her to calm down but it is of no use. - She just lost both of her parents! and you break up with her!??! Jerk!!!

She leaves the dinning hall, maybe in search of her best friend, and also leaves me with more information that I can process.

- What? - I ask, mostly to myself and am answered by my friends' heads shaking in dissapointment.

But none of that matters, because I now realize what a terrible mistake I have done.