Pain's Worth IT

Chapter 46- Conflicting Emotions

Chapter 46- Conflicting Emotions

Pain's Worth It

Qua' sean POV
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Midnight and I are back on the right track, at least, when dealing with our kids. Relationship wise, eh, that's a different situation. We talk every day now and I go over her place to crash maybe, but I'm still with Monique.

She chilled out and I apologized to her for disrespecting her the way I did, but I didn't let her know where I actually went when I didn't show for a week.

I do those missions to Midnight's house often, to the point she gave me back my keys. I feel like we're in a good place with our friendship.

I know that I'm a man, and honestly I'm still not over her. I'd sometimes try to push up on her, but she reminds me that I'm with Monique or she just pushes me away. Also, she's been wearing extra layers of clothes since I've been around.

One time I caught her gazing into space, literally. She sat out on the patio with her knees in her oversized sweater. I stood in front of her and she didn't move or stop staring into the vast night sky.

I poked her neck and she flinched.

"Oh snap..." She smiled "I didn't see you there".

I nodded "You zoned out. Something's on your mind" I took a seat next to her.

She placed her chin over her knee and rubbed her ankles. "I have so much on my mind...". She sucked her teeth.

"Let it off your mind. Enlighten me into your privacy."

She smacked her lips then deeply sighed "Well, I'm happy, but I'm not happy for like one reason only".

I looked up at the moon then down at my fingers "Yea? And what's that?".

I turned to face her and she was already staring at me. She repeatedly batted her eyes at me, so I can get the understanding.

I raised my brow "Nothing's stopping us from being together".

"That's a lie because you are. You made this relationship toxic. On a corporal level, we get along just fine, but emotionally and romantically, it's harmful. I don't want to risk my chances for another heartbreak" She shook her head.

"You made it seem like you never contributed in any of the dumb shit that we been through" I shook my head and scoffed.

She cracked her fingers "I'm not saying I didn't participate in any of it, I'm saying that you started it all. The first fight we ever had, that was you. The conflict with Dove, your fault as well, us separating, your fault... You just do dumb shit. If you love me like you say you love me then you wouldn't have put me through that bullshit".

"Man..." I sucked my teeth "Can we just leave the past behind us? Like, you did some grimy shit too when you hid your pregnancy from me. Twice!"

She rolled her eyes "I only hid my pregnancy from you once and that was when I carried Lyric. The first time I got pregnant, I told you. I wrote you that in the letter I sent to you, and I had a miscarriage when I got jumped by Dove and everyone else"

"Yea, you right, but that don't matter. That was still hurtful" I shrugged and looked away from her.

"Oh really... Try getting proposed to by someone who says they love you and reveal all your darkest secrets to them, but they're already engaged with their lying ass ex who faked a pregnancy. That's what you call hurtful. You know nothing about hurt. You've put me through all that heartbreak right when I grew a soft spot for you." Her voice got croaky.