Bottled up | thoughts

Haters & Deep stuff

[ LONG ]

So on a similar note I think I should tell you guys this,

So yesterday my friend was having a mini self-esteem problem. He's a joker, and an entertainer. He'll tease you, make dirty jokes, laugh out loud during class instead of doing his work. And he thinks some people hate him because of this. Because he's 'immature' and 'lazy', which may or may not be true. There is no solid evidence of this but he said he can see it in 'their' eyes, their tone of voice, the way they're apparently judging him wherever he goes. So he said he wanted to switch to a different school, where maybe people will respect him a little more.

So, Here's the thing. I've always been telling myself to believe this, but after he had that session, and we talked for a few hours, I kind of came to believe it.

I don't think he's immature. Tbh, I like that 'immature' side of him, and I think he's just a funny and outgoing person. It's just that some people don't.

That may be your case, too, if you feel the same way.

And I said, if people think he's immature at this school, there may still be someone who thinks he's immature in his new school. Switching schools won't solve that.

Wherever you go, someone will hate you and someone will doubt you. That's the cold, harsh truth. You can't escape those people and you can't just satisfy everyone. And no matter what you do in life, good or bad or evil, someone will shake their finger at you and say you're worthless. But you know what? Among those people who hate you are the people who think you're amazing, and that being 'immature' is a good thing. After all, it just depends on how compatible you are with them. Anyway, if people are going to judge whatever you do, why not just be yourself? If someone hates you, it doesn't necessarily mean they're bad people, or you're a bad person. You just aren't compatible. That's it, don't think any further. Cut it off there. Tell them bye bye, we don't fit, and move on. That was just one person of seven billion more people you could possibly meet.

So after we established this, my friend still wasn't convinced. He said 'but everything just adds up and it hurts'. All those looks he got, the tiny little things his friends or his family or people at school say, no matter how tiny they are, they built up and it makes him feel like shit.

But what if you imagined all those words and problems in your life as little pebbles? Small, flat ones. Then you start dropping them into a bucket every time you have a problem, and it will start to 'build up', like my friend said. It will build up until it looks like the bucket will overflow. But you can't just stand back, look at it and say: My bucket is overflowing. That must mean I did a bad job keeping it under control; that must mean I'm a horrible person because look, my bucket is overflowing but the girl across from me, hers isn't even half full.

But if you look closely, your bucket isn't overflowing. It just looks that way, because there are so many little pebbles built up in a pile.

That girl across from you, maybe while you had small, tiny ones, she has really big pebbles in her bucket. Really big problems in her life. But there are only three of them.

And if you let those little things pile up like that, you can't think of your life as 'shit' and end up generalizing your life. Stop looking at the bigger picture, stop looking at 'the bucket' and realize that you're still worth it.

Those are just pebbles, after all.