The Maze Runner Imagines (requests closed)

Minho Imagine: Alone

🚨TRIGGER WARNING🚨
This imagine contains self harm. Plase don't read this if you are triggered easily or uncomfortable, remember I'm here for you all and you are all amazing gifts to this world, don't ever forget it. Dm me if you ever feel this way, love you all💖
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Requested by @naturallyinsanenot , bby please remember how much worth you have. you are worth more than gold okay & I'm here for you.❤️
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It was late at night and I was the only one awake cleaning the toilets. I heard that Alby only gives this job to people who can't do anything else, nice to know I'm basically useless.

After I finished, I washed up and went to my room to try and sleep. Nights are always the worst for me, I have nothing to occupy my mind with, nothing to keep me astray from my thoughts.

I really do hate being by myself.

I feel so alone here, but how is it possible? For someone to feel alone in a place full of people?

Maybe I just distance myself, or maybe nobody really cares enough to talk to me.

Newt seems to be the other person to understand me, yet I feel like I bother him half the time.

I have so much to say, but nobody really asks. Nobody really knows anything about me.

Nobody knows about my suicidal thoughts or my self harm struggles, nobody knows about my ridiculous crush on Minho or how I constantly compare myself to Teresa.

Nobody knows, and I'm sure no one really cares either.
(I care 💖)

I'm just the second girl that came to the glade, the girl with messy hair and a basic figure, the average looking girl that always seems standoffish.

(Baby cakes you are beautiful the way you are okay, you should never feel the need to change your wonderful self because of someone else.)

I-I just really want someone to accept me for who I am, but who's going to accept me if I can't accept myself?

I held onto my thin blanket tightly, allowing quiet sobs sneak their way into my pillow.

I clenched my fists.

I knew what my mind was telling me, but I didn't want to listen to it.

I don't want to cut myself. I'm not going to cut myself.

Tears fell faster as my thoughts wandered uncontrollably.

I have to. I can't, it's my only escape, it's the only thing that can distract my mind.

I frantically looked through my drawers.

Relief swept over me when I saw that shiny piece of metal sitting on the bottom of my wooden drawer.

I can just imagine it's cool blade on my skin, destroying myself didn't even seem that bad to me anymore.

I craved it.

I picked up the blade, twirling it with my fingertips and trying to gather my thoughts together.

I have to.

Without a second thought I took the cool metal to my wrist, piercing jagged lines across it.

Something about seeing blood trickle down my arm is just so relaxing to me.

I tried to stop at only a few cuts but I couldn't, I cut down my whole arm.

I threw my blade in frustration, how could I do this to myself? How could I have let myself go like this?