Crawling Back To You

Chapter 14

I lay next to Alex on the couch. We lay very close. I can feel his breath against my mouth. I almost disappear in his arms, because I'm so little next to him. He isn't too big, but I'm quite little, which I usually hate, but right now I really like it, 'cause it feels safe in his arms.

'Al, would you please stay with me?'

'I'm not goin' anywhere.' He strokes my hair. His grin makes me get goose bumps. It's so... I don't know... Exiting? My lips desire to his kiss. I lean forward and put them slowly onto his perfect salty lips. I want him to be mine. But he isn't. I hate it to think that these perfect lips also have touched, and still touch Anna's. And that he might have sex with her too. It makes me sick. Suddenly I don't feel as great as I just did. All the beautiful feelings are gone. 

Fucking hell. Anna ruins my life. I really want her to break Alex's heart. It's fucking selfish, but I just want it and I want that Alex needs me. I need him, but he doesn't need me and that sucks. I feel like a second choice.

I get up and sit down with my head in my hands. Is this love? If it is I don't want it anymore. I thought I didn't care about Anna. I thought Alex and I could secretly kiss and be in love and at the same time being happy. I thought it could work. I thought it was what I want. Then why don't I feel happy? 

'Hey Cookie....' He gets up and touches my shoulder. 'Lay down, love.'

'I'm sorry,' I mutter, while I start crying. Why do I always cry? I always do. 

'Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry, I don't... I don't know what's wrong... Hailey, what is going on?' Alex panics. 

'No, it's not your fault. I don't know why I am feeling this bad, but it just doesn't feel right...'

'What? No, Hailey! But you said it would work, you said you didn't care and you wanted it! And I love you, please don't do this! I thought....' Alex screams. He shakes my shoulders. He looks really scared.

'Yes, I said it would work and I really liked it, I mean, kissing and all that. And I really believed it would work. But I think I changed my mind...'

'Right now? But no, you have no idea how much you just hurt me! You can't just break up with me! It's all my fault! I'll make it up to you, I promise! Please, please, I beg you!' He cries. He really cries for me and it's not even the first time. I can't look at him crying. It's too painful.

'But I just can't see you with her. Every time I'm with you, it crosses my mind. I can't be with you without seeing you with her and I can't handle it anymore! I love you too much, I'm sorry.'
I open the door and walk outside.

I cry like I've never cried before. The tears don't stop coming and scream without making any noise.
It's very dark outside. It makes me scared and really really depressed. I can't think clearly. All the words Alex said are moving through my mind in all directions. I feel very dizzy.
"But you said it would work, you said you didn't care and you wanted it..." "You have no idea how much you just hurt me!" I cry louder than I already did, which is almost impossible.

Alex POV
I cry again. I don't cry often, but Hailey makes me cry so easily. Is it really over? No, it can't be!
I run after her, but she seems far away. I call her, but she just walks without hearing or seeing anything. I know Hailey and I know she must have freaked out.

'Hailey? Hailey please!'
She looks at me and I see a car coming. I wanna warn her, but it's too late.

'NO!' She falls backwards with her head on the pavement. I run as fast as I can. No no no! I grab her and look at her head. I see her hair turning dark red. Blood. 

Oh god, what do I do? She isn't conscious. I have to call an ambulance, right now. The driver is gone. The person who did this just LEFT. The bloody bastard! 

'Hailey, I love you, it's gonna be allright,' I whisper to someone who isn't conscious.
I call 999 and soon there is an ambulance waiting for us. What a mess. We really screwed up.