Behind His Fame

Missing You Pt. 2

Kera

As my family was I'm the kitchen, after I got done with helping with light stuff I sat in the living room. It was almost dinner time since I was starving.

**

We ate dinner pretty early and I stayed a extra hour then, said I wasn't feeling good. I truly wasn't with the pregnancy and it's complications. And my heart was hurting.

I took a plate of leftovers and pie home... Home to my lonely hotel.

Once I got there after a while, I swiped my key card and put my food away. I sat on the couch and decided on texting Trey a Happy Thanksgiving. I'll be the bigger person.

I hadn't heard from no one besides my family in a while. I seen on Instagram a few days ago Ej, Brittany, Amber, Chyna taking a picture at some concert or party somewhere. No one called me and even asked did I wanna go. Not that I made up with Brittany anyway.

Ej hadn't contacted me in a while, and I would have least thought one of my "friends" would have texted me on Thanksgiving. I didn't text them either. I finally texted Trey.

Myself - Imma put our petty differences a side and just go head and say Happy Thanksgiving.

Trey- I'm not the one who's petty, but Happy Thanksgiving.

Really nigga, your not the one who's being petty.

Myself- Riiggghhhttt.

Trey- You left me remember.

Myself- And I told you why. Did you get shot in you head? Something told me not to text you but I did anyway to put OUR petty differences a side but you couldn't do that?! Shows a lot bout you.

Trey- No I ain't get shot in my head. It was yo' ex boyfriends gangs who shot me. It ain't showing shit about me bc I could've been there for you but you pushed me away since yo' ass needed "closure". It is what it is huh.

Once I read the last text I was in tears and they wouldnt stop coming down. I got up and shot my phone at the wall as hard as I can and screamed!

I had flashbacks of me getting raped and when De'rell kept hitting me before and after I met Trey. I had a flashback of when he choked me and all he's done to me. My dreams of him, or dreams of Trey blaming me for everything seemed like it wasn't a dream anymore.

When Trey texted, it was my ex boyfriends who did this, that was another way of blaming all of him and I's problems on me.

Nobody cares about me anymore. My "friends" were so busy I couldn't get a Happy Thanksgiving or a call. Trey basically blamed me for this.

Yes, it was my ex boyfriend but I wasn't going to stop living my life because of De'rell. The flashbacks got stronger and stronger until I grabbed my razor blade cutting my wrists. There's another déjù vu moment. I have nothing, I have no one. I dropped the blade realizing that if I continued I could lose the baby and pass out.

I threw all of the stuff that was on the bathroom table on the floor from being that mad. Blood was basically all over my arm. I heard my phone vibration surprisingly since I threw it pretty hard, and it cracked. I walked out and grabbed it to see a text from Trey again.

With out opening it I threw the phone this time hard as fuck on the floor. I feel so alone, so used, so hurt and misunderstood.

I screamed since the tears were still coming even harder. I grabbed the lamp and shot it on the wall, making the glass pieces fly every where.

I picked up a piece of glass and continued cutting my arm and body.

"WHY ME? I'M SO ALONE AND EVERYONE HATES ME! WHAT DID I DO?! I yelled out of hurt and anger.

The pain kept coming physically, emotionally and mentally. I dropped the glass and blood oozed down my arms and tears down my face.

All this shit happened to me? All my life I tried to be a good ?, I wanted good for everyone even if I was being petty. I slide down my wall and cried. My head was pounding, and my heart was hurting. I closed my eyes wiping my tears.

After everything I did for him when he was in a coma. He blamed me! And now I know he still feels that way.

"God take me away, I wanna be with my daughter. Take me away! I hate myself!" I said as blood dripped on the floor. All I could see was red, from staring at it.

Trey

*A Week And A Half Later*

The house was empty since Jay Moe and Ziah left. I had a terrible dream about Kera and pray nothing bad happened to her.

I texted her all week to get the same result. Brittany gave me her mother's number, to call her but she hadn't heard from her either. Brittany texted Ej, to text her but was all getting the same results.

I was pulling up in to my mama's house. I needed her wisdom and advice.

Getting out my car and heading to her door. I knocked on the door as she opened it and smiled.

"Hey mama." I said showing a lot of emotions.

"Hey boy." She said hugging me, I think we both needed that.

Once we got to the kitchen she was washing her hands, from what it looks like cooking.

"What'chu making?" I asked.

"Chicken and rice."

"Smells good," There was a moment of silence before I continued. "Can I talk to you?"

"Of course."

"Well, a week or two Kera, said she needed closure and then she left. I guess because our relationship was so fast and so much happend," I sighed in my hands.

"She said she loved me but wanted a break. And on Thanksgiving I texted her something I shouldn't have. Then days later she's doesn't answer any of my calls. Everyone's tried to call her And It's not going through. I hope nothing bad happened. Just so much right now." A tear slid down my face as she hugged me.

"Trey relax okay. I don't think she would break up with you because she still loves you. But to be honest yall both kind of rushed. Maybe I'll talk to her once I get a hold of her. Or we can all talk here?" She implied rubbing my back.

"Okay." I said after a moment of silence.

"Is Jay gonna be with you for Christmas?"

"Umm, I don't know. Nia and I haven't talk about it."

"Oh." She replied finishing her food.

"You wanna stay for dinner?"

"Yeah." I know her food going to be good.

After I left my mama's house I went home and thought about Kera. A lot had been between us and I hope that we can work things out.

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