Behind His Fame

Missing You Pt. 3

Kera

It's been a week later. I still had huge marks that still bleed sometimes. My phone's been off, and broken so I couldn't do anything with it.

I had scars on my upper body since my cutting. I definitely have to cover those up for the doctor. My next appointment was tomorrow. I dont even think Trey knows about my appointments, and I couldn't give a fuck if he did or not.

My friends are fake as fuck. My lover blamed me for everything that's happened to us. I basically have no one but God, and that's who I'll be talking to.

I told Trey I needed closure. The definition for closure is ˈklōZHər/ noun. To attempt to 'move on' following the termination of a relationship with another individual. When used in a sentence, insinuates that the individual using the word is the same individual who could possibly led in target of 'break-up'. Not that I wanted to break up with Trey.

Or not meaning we'll never get back together I just wanted to find myself before I could love another man again. After De'rell a few years ago. I lost myself and just wanted a real man to take me off my feet, but this ain't a fairytale world.

It was now 7pm and my head was pounding. I couldn't stop crying and still can't. Once my tears fall they can't stop. I'm heart broken by what he said. Never knew he would take it that far.

I turned on the tv to a movie and ate, some popcorn. I hadn't heard from anyone because of my phone and didn't want to.

*Next Day*

I got up out my bed, feeling sad all over again. I couldn't sleep at all and would occasionally have slight night mares. I guess my life was a nightmare. I grabbed my tight Nike shirt with sleeves and my leggins. I brushed my teeth and brushed my hair. I guess I had an aftereffect of the popcorn last night and the toothpaste not mixing well. As I ran to the toilet and threw up. After about 5 minutes.

I got up re-washing and brushed everything. I fixed my hair and walked out with my purse and broken phone. After the appointment I'll see if I can get my phone fixed.

***

Once I made it to the doctors and waited for Mr. Johnson to enter to the room.

"Kera. Welcome back." Doctor Johnson said entering the room.

"Hello."

"How have you been?"

"Alright." Yeah alright my ass. I've been living hell.

"Well I'm just gonna check the baby, couple shots and questions and we'll be all set."

"Okay." I swallowed hard, shots. Please not on my arm.

****

"Can you take the sweater off, put this gown on and Dr. Pan will examine you."

"Okay." I replied nervously.

Once I switched my clothes I walked out onto the bed.
My cuts were visible and there was no way I could hide it.

Dr. Pan came in and looking at her clipboard.

"Hello Kera I'm Dr. Pan your other main doctor." She introduced herself as I shook her hand.

"Okay- what is this?" She questioned towards my cuts.

"Nothing-" I replied covering them, but it was no use.

"Are you okay, is it about the baby. Maybe you should see a therapist. I can sign you up for one."

"I don't need a damn therapist, I just wanna leave this hospital."

"Kera, I think you do," Tears were staring to run down and my mind kept thinking bad thoughs.