Broken - A pretty face doesn't cover an ugly heart

52

52.

(Evan's POV)

I saw Ryan lying on a hammock looking up to the sky, and I thought I should talk to him. I'm fucking crazy here with all the sun and Anna... I just want to chill with a friend, although we wouldn't call ourselves that now. I don't know why I'm being such a kid about it, whatever shitty attitude that he may gives me it's better than this crap fear of proud or whatever fuck this is.

- What's up?

I say, casually.

- You're blocking my sun, dude.

- What the hell...

He turn his head to look at me, with a bored face. So I guess he's still mad at me. What a sentimentalist.

- Can I hang around here?

- Can't stop you.

- Yeah.

We stay in silence. After five minutes I can tell he's as bothered as me.

- Man, what the fuck, how long will you be treating me like shit? Can we just left this behind?

He seems to think about it. I get it now about Anna's complaining on his personality. He's such a drag.

- How's life?

I look confused for a second, but then I remember this is just Ryan's way of fix things.

- Pretty much sucking.

- Welcome to the club.

I laugh with disdain.

- Says the man who's being paid a million dollars a day.

He gave me a sarcastic smile.

- You know I don't have the talent for the job. I can't see why you would complain as well.

I ignore the last part.

- Sell the company, do something crazy, take your time. You're not that old yet.

He looked at me with horror.

- I can't do such a thing! Throw it all to the air and join a rock band, it would be awesome, but that's way in the past now.

Oh, right! How didn't I thought of it before? Ryan wanted to be a musician on his teenager days... We could make a new band, I bet Dylan would want to join us! This would be great.

- Why? Let's do it! You, me, maybe Dylan... We can make a new sound and-

- That's not how it works! I have responsibility...

I roll my eyes. I can see his holding his shit together not to accept it.

- Bullshit!

- Never mind, Evan.

I did. For now.

***

(Ryan's POV)

I have to admit I was pretty tempted by Evan's suggestion, but I knew I couldn't do it. I'm so sick of all these things I can't.

I can't work with something I want.

I can't do whatever I want with my life.

I can't have the woman I want.

There. I said it. At least to myself. I've been doing a pretty good job on keeping myself away from Anna, especially because she wouldn't let me come closer, but I'm not even a day here with her, and I all I can think about is how much I want her. I want to touch her body, kiss her lips, feel her under my skin. I need her so badly, I can't barely focus on anything when she's near. I have to be very careful with Barbra. This is so fucked up.