The Hidden Story

Chapter 50

3 Months Later.....

Malachi has been losing weight. This is a bonus for Alex and I because he was a stuggle to be holding all day. Malachi is a pretty good and chill baby. He barely cries! He only cries when he is wet or hungry. He's very quiet, doesn't make alot of noise. He smiles alot, randomly and it's the cutest thing ever. If you put him in front of a television, he's glued all day and won't make a sound.

The only problem with Mal is that he was born with asthma. He had his first asthma attack a day after he was born, causing us to have to stay in the hospital for two weeks because they were scared to send us home. We tried the pump for treatment after the attack and it calmed him down. When we left the hospital to go home, he had another one two days after staying at the house. He had to go back to the hospital and stay for another two weeks. After that second attack, we had to make sure he used his pump daily for a month and now we only do it once a week. He hasn't had an attack since we started using the pump regularly.

It's the struggle having two babies in the bed!! Amaru just turned two and she just will not sleep in her bed. Alex and I have even tried laying beside her bed until she falls asleep. She'll wake up screaming in a hour or so. She's so spoiled! That's Alex's baby right there. She calls him daddy and Zoey looks at her crazy everytime she says it too. Zoey doesn't understand that that's the only daddy Amaru knows. She was too young to know that Chris is her father and why he's not here and all that. I'm not sure how I will tell her but I'll tell her when she's old enough to understand. I don't wanna confuse her, that's not my goal but I do want her to know about her real father. Chris would be so upset if I didn't at least try. I made a scrapbook for Zoey and Amaru. It has pictures of Chris all the way from when he was born to before he died. I have pictures of them when they were first born and with all of us together. Zoey understands now surprisingly and randomly asks to look at it. She takes it to her room, flip through the pages, smiling and laughing and talks to her daddy. I love their relationship and I wouldn't dare stop it. I just fear the day when I have to explain all this shit to Amaru. It's gonna break my heart all over again.

We have this big family night planned and guess who planned it? My sperm donor. We're (my mom and dad, my sisters and brothers and all of our kids) all going to Carrabba's and bowling tonight. I'm looking forward to spending time with my family but I dunno how I feel about spending time with my donor. It's weird. He acts like the things he did to hurt this family doesn't exist. I just can't pretend. Let's not pretend. He knows what he did and so does everyone else in the family. But I'm gonna try to make the best of it. I'm always "the troublemaker", not tonight. It's time to grow up. I don't want that label anymore.

Later On That Night......

" Mom, what would match with this? " Meki ran in my room to ask me.

" Go get your Bordeaux. " I answered.

" ........but I didn't wanna wear those, mom. " He said.

" Well.. I don't know, Meki! " I said, kinda raising my voice. I slightly had an attitude.

" You didn't have to yell at me! " Meki said, stomping off.

" ...wear your gray vans! " I yelled from my room.

" No! " He yelled. I heard him running up the stairs.

" I'm about to get his behind! " Alex said, walking out of the room fast.

" No! " I grabbed his arm. " Get Malachi dressed please. You can get him later. " I said.

" No, babe.. see that's why he acts like that. He's not a little white boy, man. He always getting away with shit! " Alex snapped.