Fix You

Chapter 11

*Zayn's POV*

I quickly walked out of the school. Didn't care about Abby shouting my name and running after me. She soon stopped to follow me, and before I knew it I was standing outside the school. The anger rushed through my body and my hands were tightly fisted, making my knuckles all white. I couldn't believe that girl! After all she was a fucking twat! I had been protecting her, stayed with her until she had fallen asleep; she had been fucking cuddling me! What was wrong with her! I had been doing nothing but being nice to her. I had been more than nice, I had been like... like... Well I don't know, but I had been fucking nice! How could she let words like that come out of her mouth?

Not because it was the first time I've heard such words. People had been saying even worser things to my face, but their words just didn't go through. But now, when Lucy said them, they really hit me. I had no idea what was going on. Why did I care about her opinion about me? I don’t give a shit about everyone else but me! Well at least I thought so… I had been having this strange feeling, when I thought about her. I couldn't help it. And then she came along and just... ruined fucking everything. 

I pulled out my phone and found Harry's number. 

"HEEEEYYYY Z! Whazzap!" His raspy voice cheered.

"Hey Haz, can you come over? I need to tell you something." I said tired

"Wow, are you okay?" His voice changed completely, now sounding very concerned.

"Yeh yeh, don't worry. I just need to talk to someone..." I said as I pulled out my cigarettes from another pocket. 

"I'll be there in 10 mins, see you there Z!" 

Harry hung up, and I took a deep drag of my cigarette. I hadn't been smoking since I had visited Lucy. I had a pretty good idea about that she thought it was disgusting. But now I didn't give a shit about her. She could step out in front of a bus, and I wouldn't care. Okay, I didn't mean that. Fuck... 

Couple of minutes later, I stood in my living room. I had just gotten in, when Harry opened the door. His curls were all over the place after the wind had been raping them. 

"Hey, what's going on Z?" He said as he pulled of his jacket.

"Well you know that Lucy-girl?" I said and scratched my neck.

"Yeeeaaah, that rich blondie you were going to shag?" He grinned, and I raised a brow at him

"No. That rich blondie who is a total fucking bitch" 

"What?" Harry's eyes grew big.

And then I told him everything about the party and the night. I told him how I had been hating her, kinda liked her, then hated her to the moon and back at the party, then forgiven her and kinda liked her again, and now hated her more than ever. And then I told him about the feeling I had been having when I was thinking about her. Also when I was telling him about her, the feeling was extrastrong. My stomach went all bubbly and it felt like a knot was forming right in my belly. Weirdest feeling ever…

"It's just... It feels so weird. Can't really describe it" I shrugged

"You're in love with the bitch!" Harry grinned and punched my shoulder.

"Shut up you cunt, what the fuck do you know about that? You just hump everything that's moving..." I answered him and he laughed at me, but suddenly got all-serious.

"No seriously Zayn. I think you are in love with Lucy." He leant in and looked at me.

"No seriously Harry. I'm not!" I spat sarcastically and stood up and went to the kitchen.

We dropped the subject and just chilled for a couple of hours. But Harry’s words kept playing my mind. Me being in love with Lucy? Never! I would never fall for anyone, and especially not her! I had learnt to push that kind of feelings far away.

 When Harry had left I sat on some music. Queen. I felt like their music described my feelings pretty good. Both crazy and wild but still silent and easy. As I restlessly walked around my flat I suddenly stopped up, looking at my wall. I was looking at the wall for a couple of minutes. Then I strongly pulled away the sofa that was standing up against the wall. I pulled out my paint buckets and started to paint. Yeah, I'm pretty artistic. I write lyrics and draw/paint. Sounds masculine right? Oh god...

I painted and painted, the music filled my mind. I painted all over the wall, using every inch of it. My breathing was hard and tiny drops of sweat formed on my forehead. Then the music suddenly stopped, and I took a step back. I looked at the wall and saw a blond girl with blue eyes. Her eyes were sparkling and her lips had a light shade of pink. On her wrist there were a tiny tattoo. And behind her, lots of black shades took different shapes. It formed all her secrets and all the stuff she didn't wanted anyone to know. The shades were there, but I couldn't tell what they were supposed to look like. Because I didn't know Lucy's secrets. I chuckled ironically at myself. I wanted this girl out of my life, and now as the idiot I was, I had painted her at my fucking wall. My fucking wall in my fucking living room. 

I took a look out of the window, and saw that the stars shined bright and the lights of London lightened up the sky. I had spent at least 3 hours of painting. Suddenly I felt the sleepiness overwhelm me and before I came to my bed I fell down in my sofa and the sleep took over.

***

The next morning I woke up late. Much later than I used to. I sat up in the sofa and rubbed my eyes. She was still on the wall. She wasn't like a copy of Lucy, she just had her features. I groaned and stood up to go out and get some breakfast. I went to Starbucks and ordered a coffee, I didn't wanted anything else. As I grabbed my coffee I saw Abby. And then I saw Lucy. They sat at a table and drank coffee and talked. Lucy's back was facing me, but Abby was able to see me. Just when I was about to go, I saw Abby’s eyes grow big and then she pointed in my direction. As I turned my back to the girls I heard her.

"Zayn!" Lucy's voice rang in my ears but I continued walking. 

"Zayn wait!" I heard Lucy's steps getting closer, so I started to walk faster. I decided to walk through some crowded areas to shake her off.

I fought my way through the crowds, careful not to spill my coffee. When I couldn't hear her shout anymore, I walked home. I entered my door and walked to my room. But then I heard the door open and someone stepping into my living room. I peeked out through the slightly open door. There she was. She had been following me to my flat. What was going on? Her eyes were big and she dropped the little clutch she had been holding in her hands, staring at something. Her mouth stood open as if she was surprised.

"Di-did you draw me?" 

And then my body froze completely.