Cold Hearts in The Rain

Chapter 6

Caleb lays me down in bed and then pushes the hair out my face, making me glare at him. He, of course, gives a cheeky smile, and then says, "Scooch."

I don't know why I comply, but I do, making room for him in my bed. He lays down next to me and puts his arm around me. This reminds me very much of my ex-boyfriend, but I find myself not hating it. In fact, it seems sweeter than something my ex-boyfriend would do, as counterintuitive as that is.

Him being here seems to ward off my nightmares and make me feel safe. I can't sleep, though. I lay awake with him beside me. It's silent until the sun peaks in through the windows.

"It's time for school," he says. "I'll be going now." He stands and goes to the window, jumping out of it. That's when I realize that I am dreaming.

I woke up to my alarms blasting. I grab my phone and tap furiously at the button. As the quiet consumes my room, the dream floods my mind, kissing every recess of it. At first, I kind of liked the dream. It was sweet. But never going to happen.

Then I realized how twisted me falling asleep in his arms was (which ultimately lead to me having that dream). Was I insane? How could I even imagine falling asleep around him?! What was he thinking now because I did? What the heck was I thinking?!

That's all I could think about on my way to school. I felt stupid. And vulnerable.

Why the hell didn't I just go home?! My mom wasn't going to even be in my room! It was just a stupid nightmare!

I've known Caleb for less than a week but he's already getting me to feel a sense of... longing for him. It's like the ice around my heart was melting and I couldn't let that happen. I swore to myself to never care about anyone again.

Caleb probably didn't even have good intentions. He just wanted to get into my pants. He was thinking, Oh, I'll make the suicidal girl believe that she's loved and then take advantage of her. I don't care what happens to her in the end.

Ha, that wasn't going to happen. He had a lot coming to him if he thought that was the case.

***

At school, I avoided Caleb at all costs. In the halls, if he'd look at me, I'd look away and act as if he didn't exist. He tried saying hi, but I said nothing and walked away quickly.

During lunch, I stole glances at him ever so often, catching him doing the same. I looked away quickly and frowned. He seemed so worried which was good. He's worried about the fact that I can see through his game.

After school, I didn't go to the cliff. I went straight home.

A mixture of emotions surrounded me as I sat down on my bed, staring up at my ceiling. Colors began to surround my vision, nervousness fluttering around my chest. I wasn't familiar with them.

I shut my eyes and cursed at myself. I had to go. I couldn't just leave him there without telling him. What if he suspected the worse—that I already jumped down below, close to the shoreline so the waves could carry me away?

I jumped up, and ran out of my house, past the trees and card until the ground changed texture and I was met with a familiar back. I saw him standing there, leaning over the edge as if he was peeking. His colors were gray and blue. I've seen those colors on my grandma and grandpa a lot before: the colors of grief.

"Caleb?" I asked, trying to keep the worry out of my voice. He spun around quickly, a relief written all over his face. He grabbed me, and hugged me tightly. He pulled away from me with a smirk on his face.