I don't want to feel

Chapter 1

"Sam, you’re the only one who hasn’t been interviewed, yet.”

“But, Coach…” He cut me off.

“No ‘buts’, Sam.” He looked at me sternly. “This article is going to be included in next week’s special edition of the Isle Of Wight County Press. It’s going to be good press for the school and for the Advanced P.E. department. I’ve already told Miss King that you’d be at the newspaper’s headquarters period 4 and that was…” He paused to look at his watch. “Five minutes ago… You need to go right now."

I really didn’t want to face Jade Munsted and her minions. Jade was the editor of our school paper but also the best friend of Kelly West, our school version of a Queen Bee.   

I knew I wouldn’t win this argument but I gave it a last try anyway.

“What’s the point, though, Coach? You know how bad I am with people. Nothing good will come out of it… ”

Coach Taylor tilted his head slightly and studied my face for a few seconds before answering.

“Listen, Sam. You and Danny are the only girls to have ever been admitted in the Advanced P.E. class and you’ve been doing brilliantly athletically and academically for the last six years. You’re one of the best pupils in Sandown High. You may not realize it, but people respect you for that.”

He was slightly out of breath and I couldn’t help but feeling a little warm inside after his little speech, as it was clear from the look on his face that he had meant every single word of it.

I sighed in defeat knowing that no matter what I’d tell him, he wouldn’t change his mind so I simply nodded. He then smiled, relief obvious on his face.

“Good. Now hurry up, you’re late!”

As I let myself out of his office, I saw my best friend, Danny, coming out of the changing rooms. She walked to me and looked at me with furrowed brows.

“Are you ok, Sam? What did Coach want?” She asked with genuine concern.

“Just to remind me that I was supposed to spend this period at the newspaper’s office for the interview…” I mumbled.

“Ah right, I’m sure it’s going to be ok. They were actually quite nice to me so I’m sure it will be the same …”

“Except that…” I interrupted her mid-sentence. “I’m not as talkative and comfortable with people as you are.” I sighed. “And I always end up being awkward and making a fool of myself.”

I knew she didn’t like it when I put myself down and I hated seeing how sad she suddenly looked because of my statement.

Her tall and slim body looked smaller and her big blue eyes had lost their sparkle. Even, her normally shiny blond hair and fair skin looked sad…

Guilt started eating me up.

 

Sam, you know how sensitive Danny is! She deserves so much better than me, though… I’m sure she would have lots of cool friends if it wasn’t for me and my blatant lack of social skills… Come on, I need to be stronger, for her…

I inhaled deeply, and forced the biggest smile I could muster on my face.

“You’re right, Danny. I’m sure it’s going to be okay. But you know how I get… Anyway, I’m late so I’d better go…”

Her lips slowly curved up into a small smile and her eyes started twinkling.

“Ok. See you at lunch!” Her cheerful voice was back, meaning that she had bought my smile.