I don't want to feel

Chapter 12

We had been drinking non-stop for about an hour when Josh slumped down on a chair next to us. He looked drained and from the red circles around his eyes you could tell he had been crying.

Adam tapped him gently on the shoulder and asked.

“What’s up, man? Where’s your doll?”

“I don’t know and I don’t give a fuck…”

I spoke up.

“Josh, she is not the ‘ugly’ person you think you uncovered…”

“How do you…” He cut me off.

“Adam told me. Anyway, let me ask you a question. Did her phone ring twice in a very short lapse of time right before everything went wrong?”

Both boys said “Yes” at the same time as they looked at me questioningly.

“Well, it was me on the phone. And the fact that I tried phoning her twice in a row was enough for her to know I needed her help.

Yet, she didn’t answer or call me back which means either that she was having a bad day and couldn’t deal with me right then… or that she was really happy doing whatever she was doing and that she didn’t want my crappy life to pollute that.

However, deep down she was probably feeling very guilty hence her extreme reaction when you mentioned me.”

I had been talking non-stop for two minutes so I caught up my breath before carrying on

“What I’m trying to say, is that Danny has been head over heels in love with you for… well, forever really, and so have you, apparently, so…”

I paused and sent him a pointed look.

“What I suggest you do is simple. Go and claim back what’s always been yours.”

They were both looking at me with wide eyes. They only knew the quiet Sam and I was actually amazed at how at ease I had been all evening with Adam and just then with Josh.

I guess the amount of alcohol I had been drinking – one, two, three, four, five bottles of beer! - was to thank for that new me.

Josh touched my shoulder and said “Thanks Sam,” before going to find Danny and hopefully getting back with her.

Without a word, Adam pulled me to his chest and hugged me tightly.

I had no idea why he felt the sudden need to hold me in his arms but I chose not to question it and to enjoy it instead.

The sweet and yet masculine fragrance of his perfume along with the strong muscles surrounding me made me feel totally protected. I had the impression to be in a cocoon where nothing could happen to me. It was heaven.

A sigh escaped my lips. He gently kissed my forehead and looked at me affectionately.

“I won’t let go, you know? Not until you and Kane work it out anyway.”

I sighed deliberately this time and told him I felt like dancing.

He led me to the living room where the party was still pretty wild. I was feeling buzzed from the alcohol and Adam was a pretty good dancer so we ended up having so much fun that we lost track of time.

~~~

Kane had to turn the music to get our attention. I looked around and noticed that everybody was gone.

It took Adam and I some time to realize how furious Kane looked.

When it did, I took a step backward and ended up with my back against Adam’s chest. He immediately wrapped his arms around my shoulders in a protective way.