I don't want to feel

Chapter 13

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I woke up with my head on Adam’s chest and his arm around my shoulders, holding me tightly.

His light snoring told me he was asleep. I had the worst headache ever so that my thoughts were all fuzzy.

And yet, something was bothering me…

Wait a minute? What am I doing in Adam’s arms?

It all came back to me at once… Chris… The party… Kane… My earlier flashback and… Adam…

Adam, who had told me that he’d be there for me.

I just couldn’t face it. It was too much to handle.

Come on Sam! Get a grip, girl! You’ve crossed Chris off remember?!

You gave yourself two weeks to see how things would go with Kane…

Yes, but Kane had sex with freaking Kelly West…

Shit! I had forgotten about that! Plus, he undressed her right in front of me…

Well, there goes my answer… No need to wait for two weeks…

Argh! Freaking headache!

I drank so much last night… I haven’t got a clue of what happened though… I remember dancing with Adam and that’s about it… It felt quite good to let go, though… Maybe, I should just become a drunk… I’d drink and be happy ever after…

I chuckled.

“Hey, what’s so funny?” Adam asked me with a sleepy voice. I looked up to see a hopeful smile on his face.

The truth or not the truth? He’s going to think I’m a weirdo… Oh well, the whole school has labeled me that, already, so I might as well go with the flow…

Still, I felt stupid and I was kind of worried about how he’d react when I stuttered.

“Well…hmm…I was thinking about last night… About how I don’t remember anything but dancing and having fun… Well, after Kane’s incident that is… And, I was considering how cool it would be to… You know…hmmm… Well, to just become a drunk and live happily ever after…” I finished quickly.

I felt myself blushing when he burst out laughing. It was such a nice sound that I found myself smiling.

The long silence that followed wasn’t awkward. Adam seemed to be deep in thoughts as his hand caressed my shoulder absentmindedly. My headache had finally subsided and amazingly, I sort of felt at peace.

The moment was short-lived, though.

“Sam?”

I knew that I wouldn’t like the conversation he was about to start as soon as I heard his worried tone.

“Hmm?”

“About what happened earlier, it wasn’t a nightmare, was it?”

I felt my entire body tense and my throat got dry again.

“No,” I managed to answer. “It wasn’t.”

“Was it like a flashback? Where you relive something from your past?”

I found myself unable to speak. A huge knot had formed in my throat. So I just nodded.

Adam sat up with his back against the headboard and pulled me up in his arms. He then gently put his left hand under my chin so that we were facing one another.