I don't want to feel

Chapter 24

Danny was already waiting for me when I got to the Chippy.

We ordered our usual and walked down to the seafront in silence.

We walked past the Peer and stopped at our usual bench.

It was one of those sheltered benches old people loved to sit on during the day, as they stared endlessly at the sea, without being bothered by the wind or the rain.

Danny and I had always come to that particular bench to eat our fish and chips while watching the sun set over the sea.

I could feel Danny was dying to tell me something as she kept biting her lower lip nervously.

“Come on, spit it out.”

“Can we talk about what happened today?” She seemed unsure.

“What about today?” I tried to play dumb.

“Tell me about Kane, first.” She paused. “Adam told Josh and I about Sunday night…”

“Well, I kind of assumed he had after your little vendetta in English this morning…” I cut her off.

“He so deserved it!” She added angrily.

“Maybe… I don’t know… I don’t care…”

“You really don’t care?” I knew what she was getting at so I just decided to answer her bluntly.

“Yes, after that kiss, there was this sort of crazy powerful magnetic attraction between us. but it was just that: Physical reactions that would happen whenever we were nearby. Nothing more.

I got confused because I had never experienced anything of the kind. I was angry too as I didn’t recognize the girl I had become. I still can’t believe that I kissed Kane in front of the whole school…”

“I know. But in a sense I’m glad you did. I really like the new you.”

I chuckled at her admission.

“Ok. Next question. I’m starving here and I want to get rid of all stressful topics to be able to fully enjoy my food afterwards.”

I was trying to lighten up the mood as I knew exactly what would come next.

“What’s happening with Adam?”

“Hmmm. Where shall I start? Chris phoned on Friday. To cancel next weekend…”

“Ow.”

“Yes. He wasn’t planning on coming. Came up with some bullshit excuse… So I was feeling pretty down… Well, I kind of had reached the bottom, really… I don’t know why but it’s the image of Kane which made me come to the party… We all know what he did there and how it went pear-shaped with him from then on, but in a sense I’m still grateful since,” My voice cracked a bit. “Without him in the picture, I wouldn’t be there tonight…”

I cleared my throat in an attempt to regain my composure.

“That’s how Adam found me, totally broken on Josh’s doorstep on Saturday night. He then proceeded to pick up all the broken pieces and to stick them back up one by one. He knows everything, I’ve told him the ugliest details of my past, and… and he hasn’t run away… He even thinks that I am beautiful…”

“You are.” She whispered

“Anyway, I don’t know how he does it, but each time something comes up, or even when I just feel down, he appears… And he doesn’t you know, just show off in his shining armour… No, he actually fixes me.”

I paused to catch my breath. I could feel tears rolling down my face.

“At first, I was so down that I didn’t realize what was happening, but Sunday morning when he came back to the room all freshly showered and dressed, really strange things started happening.”