I don't want to feel

Chapter 9

“What was THAT about?” Adam asked.

I have never been a very good liar so I thought I would go for the truth… well part of it anyway.

“Kane looked kind of sad so - I’m not sure where it came from, but anyway, I decided to comfort him and went to squeeze his hand. And as my hand got in contact with his, there was this huge load of electricity and well, I’ve just nearly electrocuted the two of us basically. That’s why he hmm… ran away.”

The three of them burst out laughing.

I wasn’t sure whether they were laughing at me or at the situation, but they were hysterical and thus drawing attention to us.

I cringed.

“Ok, I get it. I’m just socially awkward. You always complain that I don’t make any effort to open myself, Danny, but look how great I am when I do try!? I might as well not bother.”

I genuinely felt depressed and I wasn’t sure why. It seemed that Kane had a very powerful effect on me and I didn’t like it at all. I had to do something about it.

“Sam, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have laughed. It’s just that…” She was struggling to hide her smile and I just snapped.

“Don’t bother. I know, I’m sorry to be such an embarrassment to you all but, don’t worry, I’ll just keep to myself from now on!”

I hurried to the canteen, got myself a sandwich, a coke and a chocolate chip cookie and decided to have my lunch outside. I needed some alone time to try and make sense of the whole situation.

I sat under a big oak tree just outside the sports hall. Coach had told us we would work on our endurance this afternoon which was exactly what I needed.

Why do I keep getting in those situations? And why do they all seem to involve Kane?

Well, he HAS been acting strange lately, hasn’t he? What’s up with that?

I’m sure it’s because he pities me…

What if he thinks I really wanted to kiss him and took Josh and Danny’s moment of fame as the perfect excuse to fulfill my deepest fantasy?!

Ewww No way!

The thing is, I’ve got this strange fluttering in my stomach every time I am next to him… Come to think of it… I am feeling it right now and he is not even there… Maybe it’s some sort of stomach bug?

Yeah! A bug that fills you with electricity.

Ok, I definitely need to go and see a doctor, there’s clearly something wrong with my head!

“Here you are!” Danny’s voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked up to see that Josh, Adam and Kane were right behind her and they all sat next to me.

Grrr No way… 

“So, Sam…” Adam started but I ignored him so he carried on. “Ok, well just to clarify our earlier reaction, it’s just you were making such a horrified face that we thought something utterly terrible had happened so that when you explained you had “electrocuted” Kane… well… it was pretty funny or at least we thought so…”

I imagine he was waiting for me to acknowledge his attempt at apologizing but I refused to humour him and carried on eating my lunch in silence.

Awkward…

After a while, they gave up on me and started chatting together. I started breathing normally again, but the fluttering was still there.

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