I don't want to feel

Chapter 38

[A/N. I just wanted to thank rainydays07 again for her great cover, JesseMac7 and GuitarGirl249 for their amazing support. This story is almost over... Yeah, I know it was a tad long... So thanks for reading it! :)]

I was watching a rerun of the first season of the Inbetweeners when the bell startled me.

Adam’s here, Yes!

But what if he hasn’t come to apologize?

Don’t be stupid, Sam, go open the door before he thinks nobody’s home and leaves.

I stood up on shaky legs and went to open the front door.

Adam was standing there with his head down and his hands hidden behind his back.

He slowly raised his head so that we were facing each other, and I froze when our eyes met again. His golden orbs were staring at me with a mixture of guilt and sadness.

I wanted to go and hug him to bring a smile back on his face, but forced myself not to do so, as I was still unsure of his intent.

“Can I come in?” He asked shyly so I nodded.

Once inside, he handed me a small bunch of white roses.

“I’ve come to apologize for my shitty behavior of last week.” He muttered.

I sighed out of relief at his words.

I had actually dreamt that he came and told me those exact same words every single night since he broke up with me on that dreadful Sunday.

However, it wasn’t a dream this time, and the delicately scented flowers I was holding in my hands were solid proof of that.

Still unable to utter a word, I went to the kitchen to put the roses in a vase. After I was done, I turned around to see that Adam had followed me.

“Thanks.” I muttered.

“I’m so sorry, Sam.” He broke down in tears.

I couldn’t take it anymore so I walked to him and hugged him as tightly as I could.

His voice was hoarse when he then explained,

“I was scared, Sam. Scared of losing my parents forever, scared of losing myself… When it comes to you, I just lose it. I constantly want to be with you, to touch you, to kiss you… If we’re apart, it’s like something is missing and I can’t breathe properly… The only thing that’s on my mind then, is how I need to be with you… Even playing football has become a torture because every minute I spend running after the ball, is a minute spent away from you…  I love you, Sam. So much, it fucking hurts…”

Tears of joy started rolling down my face as his words sank in.

He loves me… He’s back and he fucking loves me…

We were both holding on to one another as if it was our last minute on earth.

“I love you, too, Adam.” I finally managed to whisper which made him smile. “And I’ll come to your footie practices from now on so that you start enjoying football again…” I added.

There was no way I’d let him give up his hobby. Football was his life.

He squeezed me so tightly then, that it actually hurt, but it was so good to have him back, that I didn’t care.

After a while, he pulled back slightly, so that he was staring into my eyes.

I shivered at what I saw in his golden-speckled eyes, but it was nothing compared to when he once again whispered,