I don't want to feel

Chapter 37

[This amazing cover was made by rainydays07 - Thanks ever so much!!! :) ]

“Say something, Sam, please…” Danny’s voice trembled slightly.

“Hmm… Congratulations, I suppose.” I whispered before standing up to clear the table. I then put my dishes in the washer and was about to leave the room when Adam said,

“Sam, where are you going?!” He sounded like a child who’s about to be left on his own in the dark.

“Surfing.” I muttered.

“But, what about applying to the LIFA?”

I raised an eyebrow at that.

“So that’s it, then…” He said bitterly.

“What do you mean?” My voice was hoarse. My ears were suddenly ringing and I started to feel dizzy.

“Well, us… What’s the point if we know we only have six months left?!” He paused and sighed deeply before adding, “We’re over…”

I was gobsmacked. No apologies for the lies. No “Where were you thinking of going, Sam? Maybe we could work something out?”

Nope. He broke up…

And just like that, we went from being “us”, the “Happy couple”, to being nothing.

He had just erased me from his life… 

I put my hands in my pockets to hide how tightly I was clenching them. There was no way I would give him the satisfaction of breaking down in front of him.

“I thought honesty was the key to make a relationship work, anyway.” I whispered before going to my bedroom to get ready.

Things got heated in the kitchen but I didn’t care, I just needed the water to numb me.

~~~

It did. I was freezing cold when I finally got out of the water at four o’clock. I had been on my own all day long. Even Brad hadn’t turned up.

I kind of hoped he would, but the constant drizzle and the current five degrees celsius had certainly put him and all the local surfers off.

Martin and Kane were near the taps when I got there to rinse my board. I didn’t take my wetsuit off on the beach in winter preferring to be back in the warmth of my home to do so.

Martin took my board from my hands and rinsed it while I took off the special neoprene socks I had been wearing, dried my feet, and put on thick socks and trainers.

Without a word, I started making my way up the hill. Kane and Martin followed me.

Once home, I hurried to the bathroom where I took a hot shower. After drying myself, I put on some large dark blue sweats, a warm tee-shirt, and my favourite white hoodie – the one I liked to wear whenever being numb was not enough…

I air-dried my hair before hiding it in my hoodie.

I then thought I would catch up on some homework. I had a science paper to finish, Maths exercises, and some reading for English.

I had been working for about an hour and a half when there was a knock on my bedroom door.

I went to open it.

Kane was standing in front of me with a strange expression on his face.

“Is everything ok?” I asked quickly.

 “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” He was frowning.

I shrugged, unwilling to talk about what had happened earlier, especially with Kane.