Friends With Benefits

Chapter 28: BROKEN

Alexis' POV

I just ran and ran and ran; my clothes were soaked from the pouring rain. How could I put myself in these situations, how can I turn my life from bad to good now worst than ever? I know Zayn didn't mean to hit me but that's not the reason I came out of my room or why I'm running.

EARLIER THAT DAY

I had gone to my room and I was just watching T.V when someone slipped an envelope under my door, when I opened it the bracelet I had gotten with Zayn fallen out. I picked it up along with the letter inside. It read...

'Alexis, I'm giving this back to you because I can no longer stand the memory of that day. You made me so happy and lead me on thinking we could be more than friends, but I guess that's not what you're looking for. I loved you Alexis, loved. I never felt this way about a girl but the way you could jump from guy to guy makes me think otherwise of you now. The thing about Harry is he's just using you, do you really think he wants to be friends, he just wants to get in your pants which you stupidly already invited him in. It hurts to know that if people ever found out that I fell in love with a person like you they say I'd be with a prostitute because that's really what you're doing. Just stop and think what you've done what you've started how you let people see you as. You may think people see you as a strong, independent women but you're just a lonely, vulnerable, immature teenage girl who just happened to come across 5 guys. Face it Alexis stop hiding it,

You're broken.

-Zayn'

The paper stained with tears that were filled with hurt and pain. He thought I was a slut, a prostitute, was I? He would have been embarrassed of me if he took me out in public. Am I that disgusting? I looked at my closet and remembered the one item I told myself I would never touch.

I moved all the boxed, clothes and trophies till I got to the back of the closet to see the silver small item taped to the bottom of the wall. I tore it right off and walked to the bathroom. I sat in front of the tall mirror and looked at myself. My mascara ran down my cheeks as the tears came out nonstop. I brought the blaze to my inner left thigh, I looked at myself in disgust.

'slut' I said as I swiped the blade across my skin wincing at the pain, but didn't look down just stared myself in the eyes.

'ugly' another cut

'worthless' another

'gross' again

'prostitute' one more

'fat' cut

'you're disgusting' two more

'they hate you' again

'loser' another

'get lost' three more

'stupid' again

'kill yourself'

I kept going and going until the tears blurred my vision. I dropped the razor hearing it clank against the white tile. I looked down and my hands filled with the blood coming out the numerous cuts. The blood stained the floor. I closed my eyes and let out sobs, I picked up the razor again and had one more last cut to do. I brought it to my wrist and...cut.

The strings fell apart and fell in the puddle of blood. He didn't want his and neither did I. I closed my eyes again and remembered the first time I met the boys. I regret it all, everything right down to the last smile.

I got up not caring about the blood I slipped on my sweats and flopped down on the bed. I looked at my hands as the blood covered the tattoo that meant so much to me. I heard a crash and yelling, I got up not caring and once I got to the hallway I saw Liam try to pry Harry off Zayn as they threw punch after punch.