In The Blowing Ashes

Chapter 23

Katniss

"I don't know why you wanted to come with me so much," I say as Peeta and I walk hand in hand towards the hospital. "These appointments are so boring. I don't see what you'll really get out of it."

"Want to see what she looks like," he says.

"I can bring you pictures of that," I say.

"I want to hear her heartbeat and see her moving around," he says insistently. "Can't you see that this is important to me?"

"Yes," I say. "I can and I can understand why it is. I'm just telling you, none of this is exciting as it seems. It'll just be a fuzzy black and white video that will just barely look like a baby."

"I don't care," he says. "She's my baby. I want to see her." I nod and run my hand awkwardly over the squirming little tadpole in my womb. When we do get to the hospital, Delly neatly ushers us into an exam room. She takes my weight and measures my bump, smiling and saying that I'm progressing fine. She looks at Peeta and laughs as she notices how he's studying every move she makes around me.

"I wondered when you would bug her enough to make her bring you with her, Peeta," she says. "How has she been?" Before he can answer, I but in.

"Shouldn't you ask me that?" I ask.

"Katniss, you typically don't complain, even when it should be something to complain about," she says. "Which is why this time, I think it's better to ask him this time." I look at Peeta and he just ignores my hostile glare.

"Her morning sickness is gone but she still gets a little queasy sometimes," he says. "I also think her back has been bothering her more than she'll admit." Delly laughs and nods.

"Yes that's all pretty typical at the beginning of the second trimester," she says. "The queasiness will go away eventually on its own so there isn't much I can do about that. But the back pain isn't gonna just go away. It's gonna actually get worse as the baby gets bigger. I would say maybe you could try to take hot baths a little more often and try to convince Peeta to rub your back and your feet before you go to bed."

"What do my feet have to do with my back?" I ask her.

"Some of the pain is pinched nerves and rubbing your feet will relax them," she says as she has me sit up on the bed and lay back. I lift up my shirt a slide the waistband of my pants below my bump. She carefully squeezes the gel I swear they keep in a fridge over my lower abdomen. She gets the wand ready and starts moving it around, trying to get a good look at my child. "So, have you made a decision yet?"

"A decision about what?" Peeta asks looking at me.

"I hadn't brought it up yet," I say. Delly just nods and Peeta still looks at me, waiting for an answer.

"A decision about what, Kat?" He asks.

"If we want, today we can find out if the baby is a boy or a girl," I say, acting like its no big deal. But, from the look on Peeta's face, it is apparently a very big deal to him.

"You can know that?" He asks Delly more than me. She nods.

"They may not have had these machines here before the rebellion, but they were very common in the Capitol," she says. "They are amazing. As long as we can get a good view of the baby, and it's in a good position, we can tell once the mother is about 18 weeks along."

"So if it's laying right, we can know today if we're having a boy or a girl?" He asks me and I nod.

"Our parents never knew with us and they loved us all the same," I say trying to make a point.

"Yeah, but they didn't have this opportunity," he says. "Who's to say they wouldn't do the same thing?"

"Is the gender of our child going to change how much you love our baby?" I ask him.

"Of course not," he says. " I just think it would be neat to know. Like you've made a point of, I'd feel a little bad if it's a boy and I've been calling it a she this whole time." I'm about to say something back when the tell tale little whooshing thumping of our baby's heartbeat.

This is something that I've heard before, a sound I've gotten used to, even though it frightens me a little. But for Peeta, this is all new. I don't know what is going through his mind as he stares at my stomach, as though he doesn't believe that the sound he's hearing is real.

"Is that?" he asks me and I nod.

"That's the heartbeat," I say.

"It's so amazing," he says smiling at me. Seeing him like this, knowing how much he wants this, I know I'm not being fair to him. I haven't been fair to him for a while. I've been a bitch to him since I got out of bed but he's been nothing but kind to me. He keeps trying to help me and that independent person who hates being taken care of but desperately needs it inside me won't accept his help. I smile at him and take his hand.

"If you want to know, we can," I say. "It doesn't make any difference to me. If it makes you happy, we can find out what we're having." He kisses my forehead and smiles at me.

"Thank you," he says. I look at Delly and she turns the screen so we can see it. I hear Peeta gasp as he sees the moving image of our child.

"Are you guys decided?" she asks and I look to Peeta.

"It's up to you," I say.

"Yeah," he says. "We want to know." Delly smiles and uses the arm not holding the wand to point at the screen.

"In a boy, we'd be able to see his little thing right there but since there's nothing there," she stops as I turn to look at Peeta.

"It's a girl," I say. "You were right." I see tears in his eyes and I gently wipe one away from his cheek.

"It's a girl," he echoes and he leans down and kisses me. He pulls away and we look at Delly.

"As far as I can tell, she is perfectly healthy. Though considering nowadays they consider any pregnancy over thirty high risk, I think Dr. Montgomery is gonna start keeping tabs on you. She'll probably be here at your next appointment," she says as she takes the wand away and hands Peeta paper towels to wipe the sticky gel off my stomach. "I took a lot of pictures. Do you want them?"

"Yes," I say excitedly. "All of them." Peeta laughs as he wipes my belly clean and helps me up, gently pulling my clothing back in place.

"Yeah," he says as he helps me up. "I'd like to have them so I can paint a picture of her." I find a smile on my face and he kisses my cheek.

"Okay," Delly says. "Just sit tight and I'll be right back with them." We nod but we're both to preoccupied with my swollen abdomen to pay her much attention.

"I told Mommy you were a girl but she just didn't believe me," he says laughing.

"I didn't want to be to sure," I say. "But now that we know, I'm very happy we do. Because now you can use all those silly nicknames on her and leave me out of it." He smiles and kisses my temple.

"No, I think I'll use them on both of you, Darling," he says and then he lays his hand over our draught and she kicks again, reminding me that she's there too.

"You are so rubbing my feet for this," I say and he laughs.

"Of course Katniss," he says. "And your back too I'm guessing?" I nod and he lays his head on top of mine. "We're having a girl. Real or not real?"

"Real," I whisper, intertwining my fingers with his over our daughter. "In twenty two weeks, we'll be holding our baby girl, Dandelion."