HER Tearful Heart - Zauren

24 - I felt...

I got back on my bunk. Looking at the 'ceiling' if you can call it that and wondering how in the world did this happen. Why? We were doing so good! I was getting mire and mire confident, with and without him. I was happier, I was growing to be a greater person in general, he changed me for the better, and now it's everything went down the drain.
I hear a knock on the door , and a bit after somebody opens the curtains to my bunk.

Zayn. Great.

"Hi..." He says timidly.

"Hi." I reply staring at him. This s practically the first time we're seeing each other since it all happened.

"How are you? Are you ok?" He asks frowning.

"Yeah... Just a small headache, don't-don't worry..." I mumble embarrassed. I lied right into his face. I hate lying. Especially to him.

"Do you think we can talk?" He asks a little after.

"Yeah..." I nod. "Let's just go to the back of the bus."
I get off the bunk and head to the back with Zayn following behind.
Closing the doors I gesture for him to sit as I do the same.

"So..." He says.

"So..." I stare at him but he stays silent, just looking back at me, his eyes glistening.

"I'm sorry Lauren, I really, just want to get back with you. I love you so much, but you have to understand, I saw the pictures and, I don't know, you could've told me he did that!" He blows out nervously.

"I know that, but I don't have to understand shit Zayn. I saw the pictures and I know they do look like I'm cheating on you or something, but you could've asked me first, instead of accusing me and treating me like a slut, and also bringing the Luis matter to this. What the hell Zayn?" I look up at his face. His expression hurt but somehow angered.

"I know, I'm sorry-"

"Just stop saying you're sorry Zayn. You really really hurt me. I didn't think I'd ever hear you say that. You believed that guy, who wanted us to break up, as well as the others, rather then believing me. Your girlfriend!" I stand up, and bring my hands up to my hair griping it.

"I know that Lauren! How do you think that makes me feel like? Knowing I hurt you, when I told you I would never! I wasn't thinking when I said it, it just came off! But I swear I didn't mean it! I swear! I love you Lauren, so much!" He grabs hold if my trembling hands and caresses his thumb in the back of it.

"I love you too Zayn, but we got on our first fight, you brought up Luis, next time will you bring it up again? In a more specific way? I told you those things because I trusted you! I trusted you! And you just went ahead and humiliated me like that! And that's not even the worst! The worst is that I actually compared you to Luis right after! Knowing you'd never act like him, knowing you love me and that you'd never hurt me on purpose! That's what's costing me the most!" I clean away my tears but they keep falling so I eventually give up.

"I know you don't want me to say this but I'm really sorry. It's hurting to know that you're thinking like that, I don't blame you. But if you'd seen those pictures... I just didn't know Lauren, I've been through shit like this before." His eyes travel away for a bit, like bad memories flooded through his head, but he shakes them away. There's something he's not telling me, but I'll just ask him later.

"That's the thing Zayn! I didn't have to see those photos! I felt his disgusting lips on my neck, I felt them. He pushed me against the wall, and touched my face with his disgusting fingers. He implied that I had to have sex with his disgusting excuse of a person, so that you and I could be together. I felt him on myself, he pressed himself against my body. Now how do you think I felt!?" I choke out. At this point tears were running, fiercely, down my face. "How do you think I felt Zayn?" Zayn looked at me sorrowfully and seeing me in that condition, he did the only thing I need at the moment. He hugged tightly as I gripped his shirt with my fingers, strongly, as if my life depended on him.

"I'm sorry." He says kissing the top of my head, his arms wrapped around me, his scent filling my nose.

"It wasn't your fault. It was my fault. I shouldn't have gone there." I mumble through his chest.

"Hey, hey!" He frowns holding my face on his hands, looking at me as if it was his fault instead. "It wasn't your fault. You were trying to fix this shit. It's that fucking idiot's fault. I swear as soon as I get out of here I'm hunting him down, I'm gonna punch the shit out if him. He's gonna regret even looking at you! That fucking assh-"

"Zayn! Stop! You know I don't like violence, please don't do that!" I glup down holding his fist in my hands, trying to calm him down.

"I know. Sorry. Come here." He engulfs me in a hug again, kissing my forehead repeatedly.

"Don't hurt me again. Please." I whisper squinting my eyes.

"Never." He squeezes me sitting down back again, having me cuddled up on his chest. "I love you." I circle my hands around
his neck and kiss him lovingly. He kisses back holding me like a piece of glass that could shatter right in this moment. I deepen the kiss, grabbing hold of his shirt for support, his hands behind my back, running up and down, tenderly.
We break apart and rest our foreheads on each other. No words are spoken as silent tears fall down my face.

"I love you Zayn." I stare at his face as he smiles lightly at my remark, sighing, as if that was the only thing he was hoping to listen to.

He kisses my cheek as I rest my face on his shoulder. My hands go up to his hair and I play with it as he starts singing to me, swaying us from side to side.

"Your shirt is wet Zayn." I say as he finishes the song, with his heaven like voice. I love it so much. I just love him so much.

"Oh is it now!?" He chuckles as I try to lighten up the mood. I scrunch my nose as he kisses the top of it. "Let's eat something. I'm starving." I nod pecking his lips and standing up from his lap.

"Do you want to go out or stay here?" I ask him.

"Let's just stay in." He smiles and I grab hold of his hand, walking towards the fridge. He squeezes my hand and I kiss his.

"Zauren back together?" Ally asks with a smile playing in her lips.

I nod blushing.

"Told y'all!" Dinah says looking up from her phone and sawing her hand in the air, like we do on the sledgehammer choreography. "But you Zaynie boy, if you ever talk to her like you did the other day, I'm cutting your little amigo!" I widen my eyes as those words come out of Dinah's mouth.

"Dinah!"

"The poor guy. You better watch out Zayn, Dinah is a woman of her word!" Ally says laughing.

"I'd help her! Norminah cutting Zayn's amigo squad!" Normani adds on high fiving Dinah.

"You two! Shut up!" I say side hugging Zayn. I peck him on the chin and he looks down smiling at me.

"They're right. I should've never talked to you like I did the other day. But I promise I'll try to never hurt you again." He says bear hugging me. I nod pressing my lips to Zayn's chest, and without him noticing, breathing in so I could capture his scent for a bit longer.

"I luh you." I say in a baby voice.

"I love you too, my little blabber." He kisses my neck repeatedly making me squirm in my place.

"Stop! I'm ticklish. Stop!" I giggle as he starts actually tickling me.

"Mani! Help me! Ally." I get interrupted by a laughing fit, as Zayn continues tickling me. "Dinah!" None of them help me.

"I can't breath. Z!" He finally stops, giving me a chance to regain my breath. "Meanie. Why didn't you help me?" I catch a pillow and throw it at them but it only goes for Dinah.

"Ah! Right in the face!" I laugh and Zayn and the girls join me.

"Oh, right in the face? Well, you gonna regret!"

Oh shit.

A.N.: HIIII! HOW ARE YOU? HOW WAS CHRISTMAS? I MISSED YOU! I LOVE YOU, SERIOUSLY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND VOTING, I LOVE YOUU MUFFINS! ❤