The Kidnappers

The Kidnappers - Tears (Chapter 19)

CHAPTER 19

 - Dese's POV

"Dese!" I keep being shaken, disturbing me from my numb thoughts. Can't she see, I'm a mess? I want to be left alone. I'm so weak. I can't move my sprawled limbs on the sand. I don't want to move. They left me and I deserved it. I took them for granted and treated them disgracefully, to the extent of me bargaining their lives.

After a while the shaking stops and there is silence, except from the odd crackle of the fire smoldering the little life that is left in that plane. It surrounds me, echoing in my ears. All that is left is soot and ash. Everything is dead. 

"Dese, What's wrong?" I can hear his voice, I can hear Sap's melodic voice. Am I that depressed that I've become delusional, that I can hear his voice? "Dese honey, are you hurt?" It keeps on speaking, I can even feel him near me, kneeling down next me. Why am I torturing myself? He's gone forever. I  furiously stick out my hand to push the mocking ghost of him away. I've seen the state of the plane, it was a wreck. Nothing could have possibly survived. But I touch solid flesh. 

My breathe is trapped inside me. I slowly look up, my heartbeat speeding up with suppressed hope but I withhold it. My vision is blurry but I see Sap. His shiny blond hair, his deep green eyes. His flawless tanned skin. He doesn't appear damaged, the massive gash on the side of his head has vanished, no scar even. I blink a couple of times to clear my vision, to force the life-like apparition away. 

"Dese, what's happened? Why are you crying? You never cry." continuing to persistently ask. I don't ever want him to shut up. I don't care if he's not real. I crawl towards him and grasp tightly.

He responds by hugging me back, tightly. I don't mind that, my breathing is a little restricted, I'm holding Sap. He's alive. Sap's alive. Joy and relief bombard me, I let loose a sigh that is bottled up inside me.  Zeki must be alive too. I hold on. They can never leave, I don't want them ever to.

"Dese, you're not talking. Are you OK? Please talk to me." Panic becoming evident in his voice, his pleading with me. 

"I thought you died." I whisper. I look up at him through my wet eyelashes. He let's go and becomes rigid with a series of emotions flashing across his face. Confusion. Shock. Sadness. Relief. Joy. 

"We would never leave you. We're a team and survivors. We're the missionaries" He pulls me up into a hug again and then after a couple of seconds he slowly unclasps my hand so his beloved gun drops into his hand.

My heart slows down and my high emotions calm down, subsiding. Since when have I become so unstable? Since I discovered Zeki and Sap mean a lot to me. 

"Sapien, if you ever tell anyone, you've seen me like this, I will slice and dice you into little cubes and scatter you into the Power Lamp system so you will be trapped in there forever. I know how much you despise it." I pull back and glare at him, giving him most threatening voice, although it quivers slightly.

"Right, Destiny, I won't tell anyone you had a breakdown when you thought Zeki and me had died." He says after a couple of seconds, as if my warning had no effect on him. Although he did look a bit pale. I don't want him to think I'm so vulnerable girl.

We start walking, turning our backs from the disaster that unfolded on us. Leaving the hopes, pain and grief behind. Our companionable silence is soon broken when Sap says

"You know, it's nice to know you have a emotions and you're not a rock. In fact it would seem that you actually care about us." He glances at me side wards with a teasing eyes. But his words ring true. I don't want to be that emotional girly girl, that desperately clings to everything she is comfortable being around. The claws of shame and embarrassment stab through me.

I won't be like that again. Emotions make you weak, they get in the way of what you need to accomplish. They are distractions and can unravel you, like they did to me today. I can't let that happen to me again. I will just lock them in a chained wooden chest in the back of my brain and keep them there, never allowing them to surface, again. I need to be strong. 

Instead I punch Sap in the arm, trying to break the tension inside me. Besides he didn't even look hurt, no scratches in sight. Strange.

"Oww!" Sap yelps. That's more like it. I smile to myself, in satisfaction.

Love turns around as we walk towards her. I don't know where to look after she saw what a volatile wreck I am, before I ran off to the plane crash site, making irrational decisions.

I am calm and collected person. I usually distance myself not wanting to get involved in the high emotions in high pressure situations.  But how different I acted in front of Love. I internally cringe.   

 A movement catches my eye, I spot a hunched over figure wrapped in leather, at the side. He is vomiting and shaking. I look away quickly before I would be stimulated to retch.

Catching Love's eyes, she offers me a smile.  It is a smile of confidentiality and understanding. She won't tell nor bring it up. Maybe she is more mature than I give her credit for. I guess I didn't freak her out that much. I tentatively return her smile.

"Urghh. I feel like crap." I turn back around as Zeki is wiping his mouth, getting to his feet painfully and sticking his hand in his the pocket of his long black duster coat and pulling out a water bottle. He takes a sip of the warm water and then his cheeks bulge in reflex to the vomit that explodes from his throat, he collapses back on to the sand. I swiftly speed walk away.

"What happened any way?" Love question, heightening my curiosity of how they managed to escape the fireball of a plane.

"The power came on, that's what happened." Zeki groans, whilst on his hands and knees on the scalding sand, then resumes to empty his stomach. We'll give him a couple of minutes to recover and redeem his dignity. I'm sure he has a couple of pills in his jacket that he refuses to take off. 

That's how your supposed to look when you fall out of an airplane, covered in soot and sweat with cuts and bruises erupting on your skin. The fact that Sap is not like that puzzles me. Why is Sap not showing any battle wounds? Not that I wanted him to be injured but still there should be some evidence of the accident. I'm sure I saw him with a cut on his forehead and blood leaking of his face. Had I imagined it in the chaos and hysteria?

******

Song: 

Where the Story Ends - The Fray