You Said Always

Chapter Eighteen

Katniss

I feel the bed shift, meaning Peeta's left me already. As soon as the door closes, I hear yelling. It sounds like . . . Haymitch and Peeta? I carefully undo the screws that are holding the restraints in. They're at the bottom of the bed, so it takes a while, but eventually I hear the screws fall onto the white tile floors. I walk to the doorway, listening to Peeta's and Haymitch's argument. I hear Peeta Stars a speech that makes the tears slowly fall down my face.

"What happens if I touch her really, Haymitch?" He asks. I open the door a crack to see Haymitch slowly turning towards Peeta. "You won't kill me. You turned sober just to save me. Save us. You wouldn't have the heart to kill me. Katniss would kill you. She loves me." He finishes just as I start.

"You were going to leave me, weren't you?" I ask, tears streaming down my face.

"I wasn't-" he starts, but rage runs through me and I cut him off.

"Don't lie to me!" I yell, throwing the door open. "I'm tired of being lied to! You can't tell me anymore that I didn't kill everyone that died in the rebellion, because I did! You can't tell me anymore that you love me, because I know you don't really mean it! You can't tell me 'always' when I ask you to stay with me, because I know you're eventually going to leave! It may take a long time, but you're going to leave me! Don't lie to me! I'm sick and tired of being lied to all of my life. I hate being told that It's going to be okay, because it's not! I'm a broken girl.

"With no fire!
No father!
No mother!
No sister!
And no lover! So don't lie to me! I can't take it anymore!" I yell.

"Just kill me." I whimper, collapsing onto the floor with my knees to my chest. "I deserve it. I'll always deserve it."

Those are the last words I remember saying before being consumed by darkness.